Dear Garden
It's been a while - sorry. I shall blame stuff, there has been a lot of stuff recently but not enough of it has been garden stuff. We are at that time of year where I feel you slipping away from me, you are fading away into the longer nights and shorter days and my time to spend with you gets almost totally weekend focussed. I never get used to this, I never like this.
The weather is making it difficult too. I am not at the 'complaining about rain' stage yet, we needed a lot of rain to rebalance from this year's drought, but it does make it difficult sometimes to get out and do much. It is mild, breezy, very breezy and then we have sudden torrential rain. When the rain stops it feels like you, my garden are panting, getting your breath back. There is a quiet, a pause whilst the you drink and reflect on the last couple of hours. What happened? will it happen again? Was it the tail end of something or the start... so many questions for you my anxious garden. Are you anxious dear garden? I feel you could be with this constant uncertainty of weather.
So there I am thinking that everything is going ok. Maybe not totally hunky dory, but all things considered poddling along at a steady pace when......
.... it turns out that is exactly what is happening. It is not hunky dory, it is adequate, it is flat and it is not making me happy.
What are you talking about I hear you ask my dearest garden? Is it me? Are you passive aggressively trolling me again with a 'its not you its me' routine again? No no, it really is not you and it really is me and it is not you because actually my dear garden I have been feeling more energised and more gardeny than I have for quite a while. I feel that the planting has progressed now I have added more blue to the Pond Border and more hostas (or as the Mad Hatter would say, you cannot add more when you had none to begin with) to the Exotic Border and the rebooting of the Veg Garden is really giving me lots of to think about and plan. No dear garden it very definitely not you.
So what is the problem then? Well I was having a chat with a good friend and we were talking about this and that and about writing. I said that I used to write more about things that made me laugh, maybe I am just not laughing at the moment?" and there my dear garden you have it, I have forgotten how to laugh.
Oh I do laugh sometimes, but it feels like the joy has just leaked out of me slowly and imperceptibly until this is a small pudlet where there used to be a pool. Is the supply of laughter finite I wonder and most importantly, how do I get it back? How do I refill the pool?
Of course I have no words of wisdom to give the answer, if I did I would write a book about it and laugh all the way to the bank, but this is not going to happen.
I have been to a couple of comedy shows lately, they made me laugh.
I went on a trip with family recently and there was much laughter.
I feel like these drip some laughter back into the pool but that I have to keep seeking out new things to make me laugh so that I refill as quickly as I use it.
I will rebalance.
Until then, take care
Your loving Gardener xx
Take care and be kind.
