The best part about life is that you are constantly learning. I take great pride in learning. Sometimes I feel as if the older I grow, the more I learn. Often, the lessons can be inspiring; at other times, they can make you sad or melancholy. But ultimately, these lessons help continue to grow into the person I want to be…or not be.
Here we go…
Lesson 1: When you go through something tough, you find out who your “people” are. This year, I had surgery to replace my hip. While some people may consider this an easy surgery to recover from, it was not the case for me. It was tough, and I had two problems going on simultaneously: a rotten hip and an injured back. I took the 12 weeks off this semester from the university and did not teach. I cried a lot. At times, I lost hope. The pain was intense and unrelenting. The recovery was incredibly slow and required several trips to the surgeon and doctor. It took a while for everything to settle down, and even as I type this 4 months later, I am still not perfect. Not anywhere near it, in fact. But through it all, I learned who my “people” are—the ones you can count on to help you through it. Some sent cards and flowers, which were lovely and appreciated and lifted my spirits. Additionally, the ones who check on you and call and text…the ones who let you be yourself when you’re feeling down and out and discouraged but lift you out of that funk…I am so appreciative. I was in a pretty low place. I honestly would not have made it through had it not been for the support I received when all I wanted to do was retreat. Thank you for that. It meant—and continues to mean—the world to me. Love you all.
Lesson 2: You are your own best advocate. This has been building over time. While I have confidence in some areas, in other areas I am lacking. My husband has helped me have a backbone…to advocate for myself…and to do this is a little out of my comfort zone. Whether it is for my health or the work that needs to be done as an author or on behalf of our children, if you don’t advocate for yourself or your loved ones, who will?
Lesson 3: Work, work, work is great, but finding that “thing” that makes your heart sing is vital. More than ever, and especially after what I’ve been through the last couple of years with my health situation, I’ve realized that it is vital to do more of what makes your heart sing. As you age and the years fly by, you understand that spending time doing what you love really matters. When I’m not working, I spend time with friends and family, writing, and boating in the summer. The pandemic is limiting travel for now, but at some point, I look forward to seeing more of the world. What makes your heart sing?
Lesson 4: The sky is the limit. Don’t let other people put a damper on your goals and aspirations. As James Cameron said in a Ted Talk, “Don’t put limitations on yourself. Other people will do that for you.” This year, I wrote three books and published two of them; the third is coming in the spring. I learned that the only thing you are limited by is yourself. Go for what you want. Be happy with how you reach those goals. And don’t compare your goals to someone else’s. As well, I tackled a new goal: doing some travel writing. I’ve enjoyed writing these pieces immensely, and enjoyed writing for MarylandRoadTrips.com.
Lesson 5: Avoid the haters. As an author, I’m on a lot of social media. I have to spend an inordinate amount of time marketing myself to help gain readers for my novels. In doing so, I rub up against a lot of angry people who enjoy putting others down or just being downright ugly and disrespectful on social media to others (not to me in particular, but to others. Luckily, I have only encountered a couple of such people online). But I’ve made it my rule to avoid these people like the plague. They don’t know you. They hide behind false names and a screen. But make no mistake, they are not kind. Do your best to stay positive and avoid the fringe.
These are my biggest takeaways from 2021. What did you learn? And how will you advocate for yourself in 2022?
