Animals & Wildlife Magazine

Lesson 1212 – How to Disguise a Broken Tooth

By Wendythomas @wendyenthomas

If you’ve read this blog (and follow me on Facebook) you know that I have a deep-seated fear of dentists. Because my only chewing molar that was left shattered (long story), I had no choice but to make an appointment in early January to get the ball rolling on fixing up my hot mess of a mouth. My teeth are bad, many are shattered and cracked, let’s just say that I’m looking at years of work and tens of thousands of dollars of expenses.

Last night, minutes before I had to leave to teach a class, this happened:


(and yes, that is an exposed nerve right there)

I had to teach a night class and then the next morning, I had to teach a college class I was taking over from another Professor, there was absolutely no way I could cancel either of those events and so I decided to embrace my (lack of) tooth. I showed up at the classes, let everyone know that I was aware that I had broken my tooth and with that out of the way, I proceeded with my lectures.

Always the teacher, I knew that I could use my shattered tooth as a lesson for others, and so I began the “How to disguise a broken tooth” series on my Facebook page.

How to Disguise a Broken Tooth

Tip #1 – find a large flower.


Tip #2 – find a toothbrush and forcefully tell people – “Just a minute, I’ll get to you when I’m done brushing my teeth.”


Tip #3 – write a heartfelt poem and tell people you are a method poet.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Didn’t know how much you’d be missed,
Until I broke you.


Tip #4 – tell a (lie) embellishment  -“Don’t you just hate it when you find a pearl in your imported caviar?”

Follow that up with “I know, right?”


Tip #5 – pretend you’re a teenager, simply say – “What broken tooth??”

Pro tip: to be convincing, it helps if you snarl during the delivery of this one.


Tip #6 – Use an internet meme as a distraction. Banana for scale.

banana tooth

Tip #7 – Tell people that after plenty of soul searching, you have finally decided to come out as a demure-ist.


Tip #8 – Tell people you are practicing to be a Kindergarten teacher at nap time.

nap time

After two hours in the dentist’s chair, one root canal and a temporary crown, I’m a bit battered but my tooth has magically returned. Hopefully there won’t be any need for me to ever post a “disguising a broken tooth” photo again.


Wendy Thomas writes about the lessons learned while raising children and chickens in New Hampshire. Contact her at

Also, join me on Facebook to find out more about the flock (children and chickens) and see some pretty funny chicken jokes, photos of tiny houses, and even a recipe or two.

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