And yet, at 15 months, I am yet to spend a night apart from my little girl, and I have no intention of doing so any time soon. So, pass me another slice of humble pie!
Let me be clear form the outset - my not leaving Isabelle over night has nothing to do with the care she would receive when she's away. I know without a doubt that every time she is with my parents, or any member of our family, she is looked after absolutely wonderfully, and I trust them all without question.
Nope, it's all about me instead! I have absolutely no desire to be apart from my little lady for a night, and what's more, the thought of it actually makes me feel panicky. I worry that she would wake during the night and when Simon or I weren't there to comfort her, she would become inconsolable. I worry that she would go hungry because if she wanted milk during the night, or in the morning when she woke up, she wouldn't be able to get it (and that would upset her). I worry that she would wake up, not know where she was, and be frightened (and that would upset her). I just worry that she would get upset, and I wouldn't be there to comfort her. I also worry that she would sense something was different, and have a really disturbed night of sleep, and that would be a total nightmare for my parents to deal with during the night.
I always thought that most people let their babies go and stay overnight with relatives quite often, and assumed that was kind of the 'norm'. As it turns out though, among my friends, I am not alone. Most people I know have never been away from their baby over night - or if they have it has been only once or twice, not regularly. So, although some people might think I am crazy for not wanting to ship her away for the night (and sometimes I agree!), knowing how many others don't do it makes me feel that actually, it's entirely normal.
I know people at the other end of the scale as well - people who have let their baby stay elsewhere from just a few weeks old and, while I think that everyone should do what's right for their family, I genuinely don't understand how someone could bare to be away from such a tiny baby, or why they would want to be. Would I get a great night's sleep, and a lovely lie in away from her? Probably not, because I would be so worried the whole time, fretting about whether or not she would be OK.
There was the possibility that, just after her birthday, I would have had to stay away for the night after attending a wedding. When I first thought about it not long after she was born, I thought that would be OK. Thankfully, I didn't attend the wedding in the end, as there is no way I could have done it - I simply couldn't have bared to be away from her like that.
But, even more than that, I don't like to leave her in the evenings either. In 15 months, I have left her in the evenings fewer than 10 times - all but 2 of those were after she was already asleep. The other 2 times, Simon was in charge, and while I worried that she would need me, I knew that with him there she would be largely OK (as it turned out, one of the times she wouldn't settle at all, and I got so upset when I found out that I left and drove home at 90miles an hour, sobbing about what a terrible mother I was to leave her!)
There have only been 4 evenings that I have left her with anyone other than Simon (my parents and my sister), and all of them she was already asleep in bed. Again, I worry that she will wake up and be upset when she realises Simon and I aren't there. And the idea of someone other than Simon and I putting her to bed is just awful - even though my parents have no issues putting her down for naps during the day.
All that means that Simon and I don't go out in the evenings. We are pretty happy that way, though, and it's not something we wish we had. People sometimes say "You two need to get out and spend some time together" but we spend every evening together while she sleeps, and we don't think that going out to a restaurant is in any way more 'quality time' than that.
So, maybe I am an exceptionally clingy mother (I am). Or maybe, as I am coming to realize among my group of friends, I am actually just totally normal.
What age was your little when they first spent the night away from you?
