A new survey has shown that when people are focused on finding an instant romantic connection, they can miss out on real love. Writer Nicola Hughes tackles this topic as she paints a picture of herself making a connection on Tinder, then heading out to meet this new guy who she is already envisioning as “the one.” She has yet to come face to face with him and is already impatient to get to the good part.
Then when she is confronted with the real guy, the let down and sense of disappointment begins to creep in. She contemplates this and has a light bulb moment as she realizes that she has been going about dating the wrong way. She knows this because it has not worked for her.
With this epiphany in mind, she thinks back to the way she has always made friends, which is slowly. She recalls that she has never really clicked with anyone at first, and often doesn’t even like the person very much—until she has had more time to spend with them and get to know them. Then, this person who made a negative first impression has become a favorite friend. In other words, our impressions of people can change a lot once we get to know them.
Ms. Hughes’s takeaway is that if this works for making friends, maybe it would be a much more successful way to approach dating. The result is her “Dating Manifesto,” where instant impressions are out, opportunities to make male friends who could grow to be more are in.
If your dating life isn’t working out as you have hoped, you may want to give this a try. Check it out
