Hello everyone. I hope all is well with you. I’m back today and I want to tell you I was pleasantly surprised by how well received my post on The Kindness of Strangers was. This inspired me to write another post on Kindness. I was thinking (this always scares my hubby) about when we’re trying to perform random acts of kindness and we run into unkind people. What do we do?
Photo credit: jessica wilson {jek in the box} via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-NC-ND
For a long time, I would make excuses for bad behavior. “Oh, Sally’s having a bad day.” And I would turn the other cheek and go along my way. However, what happens when that person is continually unkind? When do we stop turning the other cheek? When does her behavior go from having a bad day to emotionally abusive? This my friends is where we have to decide how much of this unkind behavior we are willing to tolerate. Everyone has a different tolerance level.
For me, I’ll start investing my own time into trying to figure out what the problem is. I’ll ask Sally if I’ve done something to upset her. If I don’t get any information from her, there’s nothing I can do. I don’t have the tools to help her with her issue at this time. When this starts to happen, I know I’ve reached my limit.I stop spending a lot of time trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong because I figure, If I had done something wrong, Sally would’ve told me. At this point, I go into survival mode.
Photo credit: Maria C Dawson|Stupefied via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-ND
What that means is I try to limit my time with that person. If it’s someone I work with, I’ll be cordial, but I don’t initiate conversations or go out of my way to speak with Sally. I know what you’re thinking, I’m being unkind. Well. Maybe I am. But here’s the deal.
We must also be kind to ourselves. We are just as important as any other person on the face of the earth. We do not have to tolerate bad behavior. I know this sounds very simple. You don’t like how someone is treating you, you stay away from them. It is simple, but very hard to do. Why? Because we get emotionally involved with the other person and that throws logic out the window. I know. I’ve seen it happen many times.
We have to remind ourselves in the midst of this emotional struggle to detach from this person. They are not good for us. It doesn’t mean we have to be unkind to them, but we don’t have to put up with their bad behavior either.
Photo credit: symphony of love via Visualhunt.com / CC BY-SA
So, when I speak about Kindness. I want everyone to know that each of you needs to be kind to yourself as well. You’re important and there’s a reason you’re here.
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