I'm going to share a secret with you that nobody told me: the first months after having a baby can be awfully lonely. Don't get me wrong, they are delightful and memorable for sure!
Going from a full time job and active social life to being home with my baby full time was a bit of a shock to me. I often felt lost and in need of company, but didn't know where to turn. Many of my friends were still working and only free for happy hour or dinner which did not fit my infants demanding schedule. I didn't have many friends with young babies that I could hang out with. I remember going to parks just hoping to meet a "mom friend" (this is what I called them). Someone I could talk to about baby stuff, the kind of stuff I felt awful sharing with my friends who didn't have kids. I longed for companionship and the ability to share my new experience with women who could understand me.
The one thing I will encourage you with is this: it is only a season. Babies grow so fast, and before you know it life will speed up again. There are some things you can do in the meantime to find friends and keep the relationships you have healthy.
Keeping current friendships
Make an effort to meet with old friends. There is a tendency for people to want to give a new mom plenty of time and space to rest after the birth of a child. Your friends lack of phone calls might be her wanting to respect your new role as a mom. Let your friends know when you are free. They may be waiting for your call and ready to see you and baby! Remember, it will take a little effort to cart your baby to places your friends might want to meet. That meant me taking Lillian to weddings and social gatherings where I knew I would see old friends- even if just for an hour.
Try a change of environment
People without kids usually don't know the best places for new moms and babies to hang out. I didn't! Take charge, and invite them over to your house or recommend a park or indoor play space.
Consider leaving baby with Dad
If you really want to meet a friend for dinner, don't feel guilty. Go! Dad or a family member can watch baby while you have some time to yourself and your friend.
Be sensitive to your friends needs
Remember, not everyone wants to talk about poopy diapers and how much baby woke up last night. Ask her about her life, too. :)
Where to meet new friends?
Looking for those "mom friends"? There are so many places to meet new moms! Try MOPS, Meetup, or local breastfeeding support groups for mom play dates and events in your area. They exist- I promise! Making new friends is like dating. It's awkward. You won't like everyone you meet. Some play dates will be downright awful. I met about ten moms before I met some I connected with. Remember, your backgrounds, parenting styles, beliefs, and interests all play into how well you will get along with another person. Don't feel bad to let some budding friendships go. Move on, and keep meeting people!
