I saw Jurassic Park III (2001) in theaters and once or twice on video, but barely remembered it. A rewatch showed why. The least ambitious Jurassic Park entry is also the blandest, watchable but utterly disposable.Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) continues to study fossils even after the events of Jurassic Park. Desperate for funding, he and assistant Billy (Alessandro Nivoli) reluctantly agree to guide wealthy couple Paul (William H. Macy) and Amanda Kirby (Tea Leoni) on a tour of Isla Sorna. Things go awry when a Spinosaurus attacks, killing several of their colleagues. Eventually the truth comes out: the Kirbys lost their son, Eric (Trevor Morgan) during a hang-gliding accident, and he's hiding somewhere on the island. Naturally, finding him brings our heroes in contact with various unfriendly dinosaurs.
Unlike its predecessors, Jurassic Park III is pure brainless B-Movie, all action and effects without style or substance. The written-by-committee script (including, bafflingly, Alexander Payne of Election and The Descendants) only provides a thin excuse for dino attacks. The movie fumbles with intriguing ideas: Dr. Grant's struggles to find funding in a world with real dinosaurs, indications that InGen kept experimenting after The Lost World. Then a raptor leaps from the shadows and everything's forgotten.
At 93 minutes, Jurassic Park III is too short to grow boring, yet its simplistic formula of attack scenes interspersed with exposition wears thin fast. Joe Johnston makes the newcomer Spinosaurus the biggest dino on the block, devouring two expendables in his first appearance, then kicking a Tyrannosaur's tail. That scene feels like a middle finger to Jurassic Park fans, though it's less insulting than the raptors (now adorned in scientifically-accurate, but silly-looking feathers) chatting to each other. This wouldn't be a revelation if Dr. Grant paid any attention in the first film.
The cast collects a paycheck. Sam Neill survives with dignity intact, mostly by glowering at his idiotic sidekicks. Alessandro Nivoli is utterly charmless. William H. Macy and Tea Leoni stumble through the woods shouting through a megaphone, yet don't end up dino chow. Michael Jeter shows shades of personality before he's eaten; John Diehl and Bruce A. Young aren't so lucky. Laura Dern has a brief, plot-appropriate cameo.
But logic and character depth aren't Johnston's aim. Everything in Jurassic Park III serves to deliver its humans into harm's way, though the body count's surprisingly low. The initial Spinosaurus attack is terrifying, along with its climactic appearance in a river; a long sequence set in a Pterandon aviary works, too. Less effective are the raptor attacks and kindergarten humor, like intercutting a dinosaur attack with a kid watching Barney on TV.
Jurassic Park III is a perfunctory cash-in. No one, except the effects designers, seems invested in the end product; it's quick, painless and forgettable.
