She was a once in a lifetime dog: Remembering Keira on Pet Memorial Day
They say grief doesn't shrink, we just grow to accommodate it. I still haven't grown enough to make space for the immense grief I feel after losing my sweet Keira. I never expected to own a pet who would leave paw prints on so many hearts. Keira had a spirit that lingered; it lingers still. All the feelings are still raw and close to the surface, not enough layers of life and time to bury the pain. But as we approach a year since I lost my best friend, I've noticed like most things in my life, I'm slowly learning how to manage the emptiness. The hollow. I've found a few ways to fill it, even if only temporarily.
I keep her memory alive. Full of life like she once was. I share stories about her that make me smile and laugh. I decided to face the hurt that memories bring head-on, instead of ignoring her existence to ease the pain. I try my best not to cry. She wouldn't want me to. She was too joyful to accept the dark temptation of succumbing to grief. I talk to her urn and tell photos of her that I love her because I need something real to take her place. Something I can touch. Even the urn, its surface cool and hard, makes me feel like she existed. She lived.
I still love her so much, painfully so. I know Hazel does too. I know her heart aches for her, like mine. I don't know how we made it this far. We seek out the parts of Keira we need in our grief; her strength, her joy, her calm,her fearlessness, her playful, gypsy spirit. It lives there too, the good. The light. There is more living in your grief than just the darkness. Like the gypsy moth that fluttered beside me as Hazel and I hiked to Keira's pond to scatter her ashes, we are trying to float above it. Fly high above the grief and looking down on it. Close to the sun, where Keira's spirit lives.
June 8th is Pet Memorial Day. Memories are the last things to die, so keep them alive.
Grief is accompanied by many elements that words can't express. One of those elements is the gratitude I feel for the veterinary team at Pembroke Animal Hospital who grieved Keira's loss with me. I can't say thank you enough to Dr. Carlie Paquette, Anita, Nicole, and the team at Pembroke Animal Hospital who supported me the day I lost Keira. I'll never forget their kindness and compassion. I'd also like to pay tribute to more beloved pets who are gone but not forgotten: Chaos, Ollie, Lola, Tib, Sniffles, Skye, and Milly.
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