It's been tough here lately. Not for any real reason that I can put my finger on, just a whole load of things conspiring to make me feel a bit like a truck has mown me down and I'm just a little bit crap at everything I touch.
And as much as I would like to say that during tricky times the thing that gets me through is Isabelle's smile, or something equally as cheesy, I can't. When times are that bit tougher, the thing that gets me through is my friends. Knowing other mums understand, sympathise, have gone through the same and can offer a few words of advice or simply the chance to offload is worth it's weight in gold. If I didn't have my mommy friends, I think I'd have totally lost the plot by now!
What always gets me most is that when I say "I'm having a tough week, I feel like a crap mum" the only thing my friends say back is "I feel that way quite often too!". But so rarely people actually talk about it. Mums are so afraid they are the only ones "doing it wrongly" that they don't want to tell others.
Trust me, you aren't the only one thinking you do it wrongly. I am pretty sure all mums think that way at some point. One thing my friend always tells me is "You worry, you think you are doing it wrongly because you CARE so much about her." Which is absolutely true of all of us - we worry because we love them so much we want to make sure we are doing the best we can, and when we fall short of that we are so hard on ourselves that it's crazy.
A friend has just this moment said to me on Facebook that there is no way to know if the decisions we make are right for ourselves and our babies and that's why being a mom is so hard - there are so many options and quite often none of them seem right.
It doesn't help having so much social media either. People don't post about the tough times they are having, they don't post pictures of toddlers melting down every day, or the scowls you get when you suggest something which isn't quite right. All we ever see are photos like the one below - happy, smiling parents and babies. People out having SO MUCH FUN! It's al a load of rubbish. People want us to think they are having fun and it's so easy and great - I want people to think that too! I certainly don't want people to think I'm struggling. But it's not reality. Reality isn't Facebook and blogs. It's not the one moment your child smiled at you at the park rather than the fifteen minutes they didn't want to know you. Reality is that sometimes being a mom isn't easy, and that's OK.
It's not always easy being a mom - sometimes I think it's the hardest thing in the world. Of course, nobody ever lets you see that so you always feel a little bit alone but, trust me, everyone else DOES feel it too. My best advice is get a group of amazing mommy friends because they are the only people who can ever truly understand how it feels. Thank goodness I have mine!
