I rocked her in the same rocking chair I did when she was an infant. Completely dependent on me for her every need. Tonight she let me rock her to sleep as if she was still that way. In need of me every second of the day. How often do I tell her to go entertain herself while I am cooking dinner, or trying to get out the door. Tonight as I rocked her I wanted her to need me , to hold her and to pray over her. To kiss a million kisses and never say goodnight, instead she fell asleep in my arms. Just like when she was a baby. That same nose I kissed a thousand times before I laid her in her own bed. Away from me. She keeps getting bigger, and getting further away from my reach. As soon as I allow myself to blink she will be further, and I will miss her just the way she was when we rocked.
My Rhema girl.
As Mothers we become so used to the idea of being needed, that often our brains cannot comprehend to be thankful for the needs we are meeting. For the tiny hands we wipe strawberry jelly off and the endless lunches we pack. The fact is that eventually, but very slowly our hands aren’t needed as much. Our kisses won’t solve every problem at a playdate and we grow further from our rocking days.
Won’t we miss the sound the rocking chair makes as our teenagers whisk off to bed? Won’t we miss stocking up our diaper supplies on the changing table? Surely we will miss the late night snuggles, and the endless I love you Momma’s when candy is wanted.
It’s hard to enjoy the NOW isn’t it Momma’s?
As I sit at my desk and the house is quiet it’s easy for me to see the good in my life, in my children. Three beautiful blonde babies I was blessed with , to love and to keep safe as best as I can. To show them love , even on the hardest of days.
I was made their Mother for a purpose. A purpose that has little to do with me, and much to do with them.
Can we all talk to ” tomorrow’s Momma” ? I often do this as I fall asleep, drool and all:
Tomorrow I will love my children. I will show them what the love of Christ looks like as I serve them, and teach them respect. But I will not strive to be a Mom I am not. I am me. They need me most. They were given to me for a purpose. I cannot compare myself to my neighbor. My children need my rules, my voice, my kisses. Only I can love them with the Mothers love they need. Just me. I play a significant role in their lives that is a blessing. Help me know deep in my soul I am blessed.
The children that we are given to parent on earth should be kissed, and kissed often. So often our lips long for their cheeks when they grow further, older.
