Into me see (Intimacy) Abandonment...
Recently we did a video on rejection and how rejecting rejection shows up. The trigger here is how we learned to abandon ourselves when we felt we created expectations. This was flawed because of what we experienced long ago. The hurt we never got passed is because we did experience abandonment of many kinds. Mostly from not understanding what happens when we are younger. A inner child was hurt and we didn't see clearly, we explained it away so the things that happened to us, gave a reason that was outside of us but not inside of us! We did not even see why we made it a choice to do something opposite that would make sense to us in being. This was a lost voice in us that was not created because of the behavior that was done outside in such a way that we excused it and then said something to make it make sense to us! This didn't make it hurt less, in fact it did the opposite!
It gave the story a place to continue to seek out validation, what that meant was that it was somewhere within me that I would seek out those that would abandon me and me abandon them not for the right or wrong reasons but for the reasons that would make what happen to me make even more sense. The loss experienced in this was about what I told myself inside, that what I was, was less somehow! The hurt suffered under this way created more suffering than it created relief from the hurt!
In the hurt I would say things about how I was left and how I was rejected, then I would say how I was not worthy of love or even life. This was entirely something I didn't know how to resolve inside especially as I kept doing this to myself over and over and not seeing how the law of attraction was only attracting the same experiences, this attraction would bring the same kinds of people into my life that identified with exactly the same kind of misery I did to me! We want to share with others without knowing this is what we attract not knowing the truth that it was a undeserved karma.
It is not something you can see clearly until connection happens to you... You suffer under the connection making up what the connection wants you to have within your life, you will be free for moments in this connection usually in the absent phase of judgment which is the bubble phase or honeymoon phase of a new relationship or connection you experience. At some point though the trigger that could arise could be one that says, "What if I loose this person or they see the real me and don't except me?" This observation deck creates the same silence done to you that you had when it happened to you! This is when the you (created ego in you) that is not you is able to return and all the stories you told yourself are allowed to make you hurt again to prove your words said in the universe. Not seeing this will start to create behaviors in you that tell the other that you are abandoning them.. "This is you actually abandoning yourself." It feels more and more familiar as you keep the thought process hidden or the hurt has gotten so strong your behavior starts an erratic behavior that makes you start to judge yourself even more. (The open door to judge others comes from this judgment you do to yourself!) This art of suffering is so elusive to you yet it has to play out to make sense of what happened to you before.
This sanity is not just sane it is both insane and sane at the same time. It says you can't be with, or that someone else is better and then it stays elusive to you because of the self fulfilling abandonment you do to yourself always made sense until now! Going deep into the truth of this would mean to develop a voice in you that would birth the hurt that was pain in the first place. You will truly see yourself in what you really wanted to say with the hurt happen when it first occurred.
We went deep into these things within our connection, it was what separated us from ourselves and what we thought connection was to begin with. I guess simply asking this the right way inside would be, do I believe those that are connected to me will abandon or reject me, if this is your truth, are you sure it isn't a way to keep the story of what happen to you alive so you repeat the hurt over and over until you find the voice in the head that makes you make the same choices over and over? How do you find this voice? How deep can you go when it comes to soul searching do you know where the truth really is within you to experience your true intimacy (Into Me See)?
In your relationship to you do you say things such as No one gets me, No one understands me!
No one loves me! No one cares what I think or what I feel!
These are hurtful promises we make ourselves without even seeing we did the one thing no one else will be able to do for us cause in turn we are doing this to ourselves. If you could separate you from the inner child within you is this how you would treat the child you are in your soul?
You can always make a different choice! If you want to free yourself of your patterns that validate your story find us we are here! We get it!
Love deeply,
Clark
