On December 11, we said goodbye to my father, who died at the age of 91 from pneumonia and Parkinson’s disease. Here is the eulogy I gave at his funeral:
Over the last few days, my sisters and I have been talking about all the things we remember about Dad. The first thing people always say about him was that he was gentle. He was also kind, and quiet, and smart. Most people didn’t see his funny side, but my sisters and I did. What we remember most about Dad was how supportive he was, and how he put his family first in the best way he could. He may not have been good at social situations, but he was there for the practical things that we needed. And he always encouraged us to put our arguments aside and be there for each other.
Here are a few things I think about, when I think about Dad.
Dad was a Holocaust survivor. Born in Czechoslovakia, he lived because his father had the foresight and the resources to get my Dad and grandmother out of the country. But it means my Dad experienced a lot of upheaval and lost his home and most of his relatives. He had a childhood that scarred him, but it also meant that I treasured my family history and faith more because of what he experienced.
When I was a child, he used to take me and my sister to the library every Saturday. It was always a treat to visit the library with him. I get my love of reading from him, and I cherish that.
When I was a teenager, my parents separated, and I lived with Dad during my senior year in high school. I was going through a lot, and Dad was so supportive. Where most parents would have gotten angry with me or disciplined me, instead he was just quietly there for me. I’d work very late hours and often stayed out even later, and when I came home Dad was asleep but he’d always leave a plate of home-cooked food in the fridge.
About 20 years ago my dad fell in love with Lily Rosen and he moved from Phoenix to Maryland. We were so happy when he found her, and I was especially happy because it meant he lived near me. I’m grateful this allowed us to build a new type of relationship.
Over the last three years, we’ve had to build yet another type of relationship, when he became ill and needed my assistance. Seeing my dad gradually lose his independence, and then his beloved Lily, was heartbreaking. But caring for him also taught me so much about his strength and character, and my own.
Thankfully my dad had a long life, and a full one. He was a loving father, and a supportive one. We’ll remember him for how he cared for the people he loved. His passing leaves a huge hole in my life, but I know he would want me to be happy and take care of myself and my loved ones. I’ll miss him so much.
