Playing off Senator Hawley's ridiculous statement, Alexandra Petri delivers a great bit of satire. She writes:
Nothing like a federal grand jury issuing an indictment to suggest that we no longer have a justice system!
If Donald Trump tosses a ball into the air and instead of ascending upwards and upwards forever, it falls to the floor, we don’t have gravity anymore.
If Donald Trump walks outside when it is raining and the rain falls on him instead of just around him, we don’t have weather anymore.
If Donald Trump falls in a forest and it makes a sound, we don’t have acoustics anymore!
If Donald Trump checks out a book and gets charged an overdue fine when he doesn’t return it, we don’t have a library system anymore.
If Donald Trump runs the wrong way on a football field and doesn’t score a touchdown, we don’t have football anymore!
If the square of the hypotenuse of Donald Trump’s triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides, we don’t have a Pythagorean theorem anymore.
If Donald Trump floats in water, we don’t have buoyancy anymore!
If Donald Trump eats a doughnut and receives all the calories of the doughnut, we don’t have nutrition anymore!
If Donald Trump is sent into low-earth orbit and is unable to breathe because there is no oxygen there, we don’t have an atmosphere anymore!
If Donald Trump gets on a train and it goes to its destination, we don’t have rail service anymore.
If Donald Trump flips a switch and the lights turn on, we don’t have electricity anymore!
If Donald Trump adds two and two and it makes four, we don’t have arithmetic anymore!
If Donald Trump does not get a majority of votes or an electoral college majority and does not get to be president when that happens, we don’t have a republic anymore!
If the rules apply to Donald Trump, we don’t have rules anymore!
