Society Magazine

If Only Tebow Were Gay

Posted on the 09 May 2013 by Brutallyhonest @Ricksteroni

Maybe then he'd play again in the NFL... or at least get some favorable press.

Right?

What is becoming clearer is that the man is being blackballed.

So sez Michael Silver, Yahoo Expert (whatever that is):

As a journalist who has consistently experienced the wrath of Tebow Nation — mostly for passing along Tebowthe slings and arrows voiced by various NFL players, coaches and talent-evaluators — I'm well aware that many devotees of the world's most celebrated unemployed quarterback carry a heavy persecution complex.

Yet as Tim Tebow's career wheezes to an underwhelming halt, with less apparent interest in his services than Massachusetts funeral parlors have in Tamerlan Tsarnaev's remains, something strange is happening. Against all odds, I'm starting to wonder whether the man who helped the Denver Broncos become one of the league's most stunning success stories in 2011 is getting unjustly blackballed.

Nine days after Tebow was released by the New York Jets, it has become increasingly clear that the ultra-popular quarterback who has hijacked many a news cycle has no viable landing spot. No NFL team seems to want him — as a starter, backup, converted H-back or fake-punt decoy — and it's not like he's fending off big-money offers from Canada, either.

...

Tebow, by all accounts, is a hard worker who radiates a relentlessly positive attitude. He has obvious leadership qualities and, as Broncos fans, 2011 opponents and "Saturday Night Live" aficionadosalike can attest, an uncanny knack for getting the stars to align in his favor. (Or, perhaps, his deep Christian faith really does translate into things like Marion Barber inexplicably running out of boundsin high altitude. After the weirdness I witnessed that season, I'm not ruling anything out.)

Clearly, even after shredding what was then the NFL's top-ranked defense for 316 passing yards in that Jan. 2012 playoff triumph, Tebow still has some serious refinement to do in order to bring his game to NFL-starter standards. That was evident in his final game with the Broncos, a lopsided playoff defeat to the New England Patriots.

What I can't understand is why no NFL team has enough faith in Tebow's upside to see if he's capable of pulling it off.

...

Since that defeat to the Patriots, the guy has been treated as dismissively as Kent Dorfman in the opening scene of "Animal House".

Which is why I believe Tebow ought to consider becoming a homosexual.

Or perhaps converting to Islam.

But not both.

That could be problematic.


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog