Well, well, well, look at all you bright-eyed, bushy-tailed graduates of 2025! Give yourselves a round of applause – you made it! And let me tell you, that’s no small feat. Especially with all the doom and gloom you’ve been hearing from every other commencement speaker out there. Seriously, I’m starting to think they’re all reading from the same “The World Is Ending, And You’re All Doomed” script.
But not me, sweethearts. Not Midlife Margaritas. I’m here to tell you something radically different. Something you might actually want to hear.
It’s your time to shine, baby!
That’s right. Forget the naysayers, the doomsayers, and the “you’re inheriting a mess” brigade. While they’re busy wringing their hands, you, my friends, are about to inherit an opportunity. A chance to rewrite the narrative. And frankly, we midlife women (ages 40 and fabulous, thank you very much) are counting on you. We’re tired, y’all. We’ve been holding down the fort, and frankly, our backs are starting to ache.
So, here’s some unsolicited advice from your favorite margarita-fueled mentor:
First off, politics. I know, I know. It’s a dumpster fire. But guess what? It’s your dumpster fire now. We need you young’uns to get in there, shake things up, and maybe, just maybe, gently escort some of the older, crustier ones out. No offense to our seasoned politicians, but a fresh perspective wouldn’t kill anyone. Actually, it might save us all.
Next, let’s talk about “low-skill” jobs. I’m looking at you, future influencers who think making TikToks is the only path to glory. Listen up: factory jobs? Trades? These are not “low-skill.” These are essential. These are the backbone of our communities. We need skilled laborers, people who can actually build things, fix things, and make things work. So, if you’re good with your hands, for the love of all that is holy, consider it. We need you. Desperately.
And speaking of making things work, let’s inject some humor back into the world. Seriously, folks, we’re a little too serious these days. We need a fresh crop of comedians. People who can make us laugh, not just scroll through endless outrage. Go forth and be funny! We need the endorphins.
Mental health. This isn’t just a buzzword, people. This is a real, bona fide priority. Stop treating it like lip service. Take care of your brains, your hearts, your souls. If you need help, get it. If you’re struggling, talk about it. And for the love of God, learn to relax. Which brings me to…
Work-life balance. The hustle culture? It’s exhausting. Cut back on your work hours and days if you can. Life is not just about the grind. It’s about living. Period.
And while we’re living, let’s clean up our act. I’m talking mandatory days of the month for all able-bodied people to spend cleaning up our communities, our beaches, our rivers. The amount of trash out there is an abomination. Let’s make it a community effort. Because we live here, right?
Red tape. Oh, the red tape. It’s like a boa constrictor strangling progress. Find a way to cut through it. Don’t let bureaucracy get in the way of getting things done. We have so much to accomplish, and we don’t have time for endless paperwork and committees.
But amidst all this doing, don’t forget to stop and smell the roses. Make time for family and friends. Less talk about divisive issues that stress everyone out, and more talk about… well, anything else. Puppies, good food, funny stories.
Let’s also find a way to create a more healthy environment with less medication and more relaxation. Bring back Happy Hours! Community parties! Dance-offs! Remember those? They were fun. And they didn’t require a prescription.
And please, take care of our elders. Let them live with dignity and comfort. They built this world (for better or worse), and they deserve our respect and care.
Finally, and this is a big one: Don’t turn a blind eye to real crime. And as for the death penalty? Keep it for child and animal abusers. No arguments there from this midlife mama.
And last but certainly not least, let’s officially declare summer Margarita Season. Because, frankly, we’ve earned it.
So go forth, class of 2025. You are not doomed. You are empowered. You are the future. Now go out there and make it a good one. And maybe, just maybe, grab a margarita while you’re at it. You’ve earned that too.
Cheers!
Peace & Love from Midlife Margaritas
