I was sitting on Zahara's bed today and I got the urge to ask her a few questions. I said her biological dad's name and I asked her did she remember him and did she know who he was. She answered both questions with a NO. I then asked her did she understand that some kids don't get to see their daddies, and that some daddies aren't around because they live far away. She answered yes to those questions.
I then said her father's name again and I explained to her that he was her "real" dad when she was a baby but he was kind of bad and he left. She said "he's bad?" She looked so confused so I quickly took that back and said no baby mommy didn't mean that, he isn't bad at all he just lives far away. I told her that he lives really far (which is true) and that I am not sure when she will see him again. I then told her that her daddy (my husband) will never leave no matter what because he loves her. She said I know mommy and he loves you too. That really made my heart smile. I asked her a few more questions and then I told her to tell me what she thought I was trying to tell her.
She repeated what I said and she seemed to understand everything better than I thought she would. I asked her was she okay with all of this and she said yes. She was so relaxed, totally not bothered by this news; it made me feel so much better. I've been wanting to get this off of my chest and I knew there was no way I could wait until she was 6 or 7 like I originally planned. We will definitely have to talk about it again when she understands more but Lord knows I feel so much better. I'm really proud of myself and just as proud of Zahara.
Life is good.
