Family Magazine

I Ran Away from Home When I Was 17 Years Old. Or Maybe I ...

By Accidentalxpert @AccidentalXpert
I ran away from home when I was 17 years old. Or maybe I was 16. I can’t remember now. It was cold outside. I had $50.00 to my name and a boyfriend more mentally disturbed then I was. We were like the blind leading the blind.
I can’t explain what I was running from. School. Rules. People. Up until recently I suffered with severe anxiety and my cure for everything was to self destruct and run. It wasn’t drugs related or alcohol related. I just needed away. immediately. So one night I was out with my far worse off then me fella and I just drove. And drove. And drove. I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to be in my own place away from all the things, people and places that I thought was my problem. I know now the problem was me and the people I chose to surround myself with. I was drawn to people who needed my help when in reality I was doing a piss poor job of helping myself. 
We slept in my car with no definite plan of where we were going or how we were going to survive. By night two on the run I called home collect and was back home hours later.
I was expecting the wrath of God to come forth from my parents when I walked back through the door but instead Momma just hugged me and cried. She asked me if I was cold, or hungry or tired. At times as a mother myself I have come to understand why she didn’t have it in her her to lecture me and drop punishment immediately. 
The State Police were looking for me. The church was praying for me. My Friends were being questioned. I had my small community in a total panic because I thought life was hard. 
It wasn’t until my late 30’s that I healed mentally and emotionally. It could have came a lot quicker had I just recognized that I needed to stop surrounding myself with people who needed my help and start putting my efforts into people who just wanted my friendship. That is a hard lesson to learn because all the sweet memes on Pinterest will tell you how rewarding it is to help others and build others up. Just remember, it’s necessary that we have people who do that for us as well.

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