Humor Magazine

I'm Going Through An Awkward Stage

By Pearl

A repost from 2010, while my wrists heal.

And in other news, Minneapolis is expecting snow.  Snow in May.  Today and tomorrow.


Sigh.

Today – and for the first time in, oh, three or four hundred years – not only have I not worn winter boots, but I’m wearing a skirt.
Ankles, people. Ankles! Out there for just anyone to see!
I feel reckless and wild, so 1920s. Next thing you know I’ll be bobbing my hair and smoking tea with some palooka.
It’s a heady day the day the winter boots come off and the neck-to-ankle down coat stays on the peg at home rather than riding your winter-worn shoulders.
And there's more! Of course, I feel as if I’ve already thrown too much at you – all this excitement could easily lead to high-fives, the clinking of glasses, and other displays of emotion – but if I don’t tell someone, I’m going to burst.
You ready for this? Brace yourself. You may want to get a firm hold on a large bit of furniture…
In the next couple weeks, I’m going to swap out my winter clothes for my summer clothes.
I do feel the word “giddy” is over-used, but it keeps springing to mind.
It’s tricky business, this changing of the wardrobe. The month of March cannot be trusted – and frankly, April’s a suspicious looking block of time as well – but who can resist the lure of the under-the-bed storage boxes? Will it snow again? It might! Do I care? No, my friends; I do not. The end is near and it looks like a strappy sandal.
Just think. I have clothes that I haven’t seen in six months, so basically what I have is new clothes!
Do I like them? I’ll bet I do!
Will they still fit me? I certainly hope so!
If I don’t like them, can I borrow yours? Thanks, buddy!
You see? This is how it starts. One glorious step at a time.
And first we take our boots off.

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