"I Have Great Comfort in Being Part of the Catholic Faith"

Via The Catholic Gentleman, an interview with a cop who shares the impact his recent conversion to the Catholic faith is having on his job:

HOW DOES THE CATHOLIC FAITH KEEP YOU GOING AT WORK? DAY AFTER DAY, YOU’RE CONFRONTING THE MYSTERIUM INIQUITATIS, THE “MYSTERY OF EVIL”, MANIFESTED IN SO MANY DRAMATIC WAYS. SPIRITUAL CONSOLATIONS MUST BE ESSENTIAL. CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THEM?

It can be very hard to deal with the hidden stresses of Police work. The most important tools to combat the job and its stresses are a good support system and healthy outlets. I have family and great close friends I can always rely on to talk to when I need to. One of the most important foundational support systems I have is my faith. I rely on my Catholic faith on a daily basis. I pray silently while driving or thinking, and offer a prayer to St. Michael for protection.

Officers are exposed to inter-departmental gossip, societal expectations, and hazards in our work environment. My faith keeps me on the right track and from making bad decisions. Responding to Police calls when people are at their very worst is very common. No one will call the Police to just say “hello”. There will always be certain events that we as officers see and have to deal with that we will never forget. One example of this is a suicide that I responded to where the subject had shot himself in the head. His poor wife came home and found him deceased. As the officer, I arrived on scene and observed the wife crying with two other neighbors consoling her. I then immediately had to go into work mode and direct officers to interview everyone there, tape the scene off, gather all relevant information, and determine whether there were any signs of foul play. I will never forget that call or the image in my head of the man who shot himself, as the scene was incredibly gruesome. This is where I rely on prayer and my faith to give me the strength to keep going forward and not to have those dark images or experiences haunt me.

There are many demons and temptations that will confront you in law enforcement. Sometimes, when we catch a drug dealer or raid a drug house, we see hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash on scene. This can be an easy temptation, “Who will miss a couple hundred or thousand dollars of drug money?” If I had my way, I would take it all and give it to charities or to people who need it, but of course, this is all evidence and we cannot do that. This is another example of a temptation on the job that you must never give in to.

AS A NEW CATHOLIC, WHAT HAS BEEN THE GREATEST SURPRISE, OR MAYBE BETTER PUT, WHAT IN PARTICULAR PROVIDES YOU WITH THE GREATEST COMFORT?

I have great comfort in being part of the Catholic faith. This provides me strength and courage to help others in terrible situations. I always remind people on calls that “It can always be worse, someone has it worse somewhere else.” I enjoy going to Mass to think and grow in my faith. A hidden side effect of now having the faith in my life is a new form of self-confidence and the willingness to share my faith with others. I always encourage those who are close to me, and anyone who needs some support, to go to Mass, even if they are not Catholic. Spiritual healing can be a very powerful tool.

IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT FAITH THAT WAS AT FIRST A BIT OF A HURDLE FOR YOU?

Yes. The biggest hurdle was Confession. Since I am a new Catholic, this was the hardest Sacrament to receive. Prior to my baptism, I had been going to Mass for approximately four years, but of course never partook in the Sacraments. As a new Catholic, it is hard for me to speak to a priest, even behind a screen, and tell him the things that I have done. This can be very embarrassing, as I feel ashamed, but I have to rely on my faith to help me build courage to admit my sins and become a better man. It is also hard for those outside the Church to understand telling a priest your sins and having them forgiven, rather than having that discussion with God himself, by seeking forgiveness through prayer. Confession is still intimidating for me, but when I recently went to Confession, I felt as if the weight was off my shoulders, and I felt much better.

Another hurdle for me is being the only Catholic in my family. My family is nominally Muslim. They are the greatest people in the world and have never done anything bad. However, telling them that I was actively in a different faith was very hard. I told them very subtly and I had varied degrees of support and questions of “Why?” This is my cross to bear. It is hard for me to overcome, since I do not want my family to feel as if I am betraying them or leaving them. If anything, I only have more respect and appreciation for them.

BISHOP HYING ADMINISTERED TO YOU ALL THE SACRAMENTS OF INITIATION DURING MASS. DESCRIBE WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD AS THOSE GRACES WERE FLOWING INTO YOU.

It was a great experience, but at the same time very intimidating. I was nervous since my life was about to change, even though I had been going to Mass for years at this point. I felt nervous since I was so new and I knew I had the responsibility of being a good Catholic man (not that I wasn’t trying to be a good person before my Baptism). Overall, it was a great day since I had my closest family friends there to support me along with my godparents who will always support me in life.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE SAINT?

I pray to St. Michael the Archangel for protection. My Baptismal and Confirmation name is Michael because, at the time of my initiation into the Faith, I was also starting out in law enforcement. I say the St. Michael prayer almost daily, as some days I become very busy at work and even forget to eat! I pray for protection for myself and my co-workers, and all people who are defenders. We truly are the sheepdogs out to protect the herds from the wolves.

May the good Shepherd shepherd all His sheepdogs, those in the police force, those in the military. 

Amen.