I remember the first pimple I ever had. I think I was around 12 years old….maybe 11 but around there. It was right in that little crease between your nostril and your nose – you know, that hidden spot that I guess you miss scrubbing well when you are washing your face. Especially when you’ve never had a pimple before.
I just remember my nose itching and I itched it and felt something wet – and thought maybe I had cut myself so ran to the mirror and saw this white thing on my nose.
I had read about pimples but had assumed that it would NEVER happen to me because I had hit puberty at least a year before and nothing had ever come up – so why would it come up now?! I ran downstairs and showed my Mom, asking her if she thought it was a wart and if we should go to the doctor. I still remember her fateful words “It looks like a pimple that wasn’t squeezed out properly…”. And so my war with acne started.
Years later when I thought I had a good handle on things, my sister and some friends were chatting after church one Saturday evening when I my friend commented that my skin was looking really clear. I immediately freaked out because everyone knew that the moment someone said your skin was clear that karma would be a b*tch and you would break out, so I immediately reprimanded him. Then he went, “well, your skin is clear for YOU, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with clear skin.” I don’t know which comment upset me more.
And now, I think my skin is the worst it’s ever been. A few years ago I found out I was gluten- intolerant. A few years before that I found out I was allergic to casein, a protein in dairy products (and no it is not lactose intolerant – those are two completely different proteins). I found out that the casein allergy made me break out – whenever I consume any type of dairy, my allergies immediately act up. I’m sneezing and sniffling within 15 minutes as if I stuck my head into an old library book full of dust and took a deep breath in (okay that would make me swell up “like a frog” according to my sister). Then, about a week and a half after, I would get at least two huge, painfully sore pimples with a white, liquidy (dairy-like I like to say) liquid in them that refuse to go away for another two weeks, and leave marks for another two months.
(as I write this I cheated yesterday with home-made coconut ice cream – cheating is something I haven’t done in months but this was so tempting…..and yes I regretted it fifteen minutes later and still am with the lovely weird tummy issues that accompany a dairy allergy…Moral of the story – do as I say and not as I do – stop cheating people)
So, even though I’ve cut out all the dairy I can possibly think of finding, including that in hidden foods such as lunch meats, for example, and I have cut out every possible source of gluten I can find (except for when I’m unknowingly glutenated), I think my skin is the worst it has been in a long time.
This is one reason that I have been searching for gluten free cosmetics and cleansers recently – and as of today, will be searching for gluten free hair products too. The reason being that I recently got in touch with several bloggers who blog about gluten free cosmetics and some of whom actually make their own cosmetics and sell them off of their websites. I am seriously thinking of starting to purchase all my cleansers, cosmetics and hair care from them – and yes, that includes my bath soaps and hand lotions….and maybe toothpastes come to think of it.
I believe (from my reading) that about 90% of whatever you put on your skin gets absorbed into your bloodstream – and therefore into your body, so if a product has gluten in it and you’re using it, you are still glutenating yourself – which if you’re highly intolerant like me is why all your symptoms may not have disappeared and if you’re celiac, may result in some serious health consequences that I’m sure you don’t want to risk!
This is also why you guys who have neither an intolerance or disease may want to consider some of the chemicals in that soap you’re washing your hands with and the lotion on your hands that you then use to prepare your kids’ food (hands…not the soap)!
Anyways, I digress by giving you guys too much good information
The point is that I’m ranting and you should listen right?
I saw a photo of one of the girls with the gluten free makeup blogs today – and her skin is absolutely flawless. So I went in search of photos of other bloggers who use gluten free cosmetics and their skin is also flawless and literally GLOWING. And I was jealous. Yes, there, I said it. Why? Because in my mind I’ve never had clear skin from the day I had that wretched first pimple on my nostril. And I”m in my 30′s. And I dream of the day I have clear skin.
What’s keeping me back? I guess only me. The products these ladies use (and yes I have harrassed their souls until they must groan when they see my name on their twitter stream) are all online. I will be honest, as much as I live online and have met my hubs online and as you can see embrace an online lifestyle – I still don’t PURCHASE items online – especially items I use everyday. The whole idea of buying bath soap online sets off an anxiety attack – what if I don’t order new ones in time? It completely represents a much more organized person that I am.
(On a completely different note, I’ve also found that for a proper fitting bra, I should ideally be ordering online too because “high-street” stores don’t carry all the sizes they really should and tend to force their customers into their sizes. So that’s freaking me out even more because not only am I going to have to purchase online, I can’t TRY THESE THINGS ON and they tend to be EXPENSIVE (no more 3 for $15 specials at the mall).
I know that I have a problem by letting my thoughts keep me back from going for things I know I’ll be successful at or that I need to do – so I need a little encouragement here. I would love to hear from you, if you’re out there. What is your skin story? And what is your online shopping experience?
I’m hoping your experiences will negate my negative thought (two negatives = positive…haha yes math nerd in the past), and will push me over that little edge that I need to jump over.
Thanks for your support and for helping me succeed in achieving my dream!
