I regret to inform you that the time has almost come: the time when we have to think about summer shoes. Shoes that can reveal part of the foot, or even a surprising amount. Shoes that we can wear without socks. Shoes that somehow carry us from morning to night without slowly curling our toes. Shoes that ensure that a passing child on the street does not cringe or start crying. The swifts will be here any minute, the smell of blackened chicken wings wafts over the neighbor's fence, and now we have to dig our feet out of their winter wrappings, like evacuees being cut out of their winter vests.
First a news announcement. You may have noticed or read that boat shoes are making a comeback. Or 'having a moment', as they say in the fashion world. The return of the boat shoe feels as unlikely and retro to me as the return of Liz Truss, but Miu Miu's spring/summer collection included a £660 pair, so they're considered fashionable again. Fashion has gone even further and declared 2024 "the year of the boat shoe," which seems like a bold claim given that several major democracies around the world are holding elections this year, but I admire the passion. Especially for a shoe that is traditionally worn by the country gentleman on a sunny Sunday morning to walk the Labrador to the local newsagent. This guy would also be wearing red shorts and maybe a panama. That is the traditional home of the boat shoe.
But now we should all be wearing them, thanks to the influence of films like Salt burn and the Netflix series Mr, which have been blamed for the rise in popularity of preppy fashion, including boat shoes and rugby shirts. Next up is flogging it for £38 if you can't splurge on the Miu Miu ones.
It's a big relief, this boat shoe news, because I've been worried about the rise of the Birkenstock for a while. My new significant other has already warned me about his. "I spend a lot of the summer wearing sandals," Paul said cautiously a few months ago. "What kind of sandals?" I checked. "Birkenstocks," he replied. One of the many reasons I fell for him was his impeccable dress sense: linen shirts, cable knit sweaters, leather cycling boots, which he wore all winter. Will I like him in a pair of Birkenstocks? It remains to be seen as he hasn't taken them out yet. But I feel the moment approaching.
My friend Tom Chamberlin, the editor of Brave Men's Magazine The rake, begs to differ. "I know the rumor about the return of the Birkenstock is on everyone's lips, but so is the return of the mullet and there are better hairstyles," he warns.
Espadrilles with rubber soles are preferable to the boat shoe, says Tom. I don't even bother asking him about trainers, or about the Adidas Sambas that have been out since the Prime Minister wore them a few weeks ago, because I've never seen Tom in a pair of trainers. You can find beautiful sandals, Tom adds, from the likes of Tod's and Ralph Lauren.
Hmm. I don't think we women have it much easier. Around this time of year I look at women on the subway, in their dainty sandals with their perfect toenails, and I wonder if I'll ever be the kind of organized person who checks the weather forecast in advance and adjusts it. personal care regimen accordingly? And can you really wander the streets of London all day wearing Roman-esque sandals without any cuts? I often fall back on white sneakers or espadrilles to hide my toes, but these can also become quite uncomfortable after a long day. Talcum powder is recommended by a friend, who says she carries it with her everywhere this time of year, to sprinkle in her shoes if they become too sticky.
A few years ago, I braved the question among friends about whether we could still wear heeled espadrille wedges in the summer, or whether they would become boring, and my goodness, The reaction. I might as well have said I preferred cats to dogs. Some were shocked, in other words, and declared them lumpy and not sexy. Others were more supportive. The best response of all came from a well-connected friend who had attended a royal wedding as a couple. "The great thing about espadrilles," she told me, "is that you can make a curve in them. The base gives you support, so you wobble less when you go down." Remember this if you go to a garden party or if the King invites you to a barbecue.
Another alarming development in summer footwear is the rise of ugly sandals: chunky things with wide straps and a sole as thick as a hard back. When I was a teenager and my feet had grown faster than my body, my grandmother thoughtfully placed a catalog of wide-leg shoes, the orthopedic kind you see in the backs of magazines. Even those were more attractive than the fisherman sandals that now littered the city. It's as if women, freed from the pressure and shackles of ridiculous heels after decades, consciously want to wear professional shoes. Fair enough, but isn't there a middle ground between the kind of shoe you might wear if you've recently had bunion surgery and heels?
Let's not even talk about Crocs. Although I will say that on a recent trip to New York I saw dozens of couples on the subway. Colored pairs. Camouflaged couples. Bejeweled couples. So those of us holding out on the Crocs front may soon become an even bigger minority.
Ballet shoes are also great this summer, say others, again because preppy dressing is back. But because I have large size feet (42, if you must know, or a generous 8), I always feel a little fraudulent when I wear ballet shoes - like a butcher pushing too much sausage meat into his skin. I used to buy pumps from a shop in Brixton for women with, ahem, slightly larger feet. Guess what this store was called? Really, it was Elephant Feet, even though it's long since closed (no wonder).
But boat shoes. Thank goodness the fashion crowd has declared that boat shoes can once again be worn by men and women, whether you have a boat and/or a Labrador, or neither. I'm going to buy a pair for myself and start greeting others with a cheery, "Ahoy, there!"
