I have been told directly when I was a teenager and during my adulthood that I was not “normal” by three people because I am very unique.
Some meant those words as an acknowledgement to me that I was uncommon to them as others have used the term toward me as an insult.
But what these few who said this to me, whether it was a harmless mention or one to intentionally hurt, did not realize is that their words were a huge compliment to me.
It made me feel good to not be categorized as being the same.
No one can drown out my voice or my existence. Though, I have always detested the existence of those who I feel should not exist.
I am one who could never conform to the so-called norm of what is considered normal- to do as others do and to think as others do.
To accept and adhere to the approved dominant set of principles, rules, or standards within the characteristics and behavior carried out by most of society.
It was never my inborn tendency to behave according to socially accepted conventions or typicality.
I often rejected, and refused to comply or go along with what went against my nature or way of thinking, being, and doing due to my unconventionality.
I prefer my original, unusual, different, so-called strange to some, out of the ordinary, original, new-fashioned disposition- because it is the real me.
I never had the desire to join in- that is why I always stood out.
I hated whenever people tried to manipulate or coerce me by subtle means trying to use psychology, head games, or their way of reasoning to undermine, challenge, or change my attitude and ways through passing unfavorable judgment upon me, downplaying me, turning against me, or underestimating me.
These actions never caused self-doubt or fear within me to surrender to just be accepted.
Oftentimes it infuriated me or caused me to pleasantly distance myself from those kinds of individuals.
My resistance has caused in many instances among those who were in opposition or who were incongruent, great friction between us.
This is why I am a leader and not a follower because I never went along with society because it was the thing to do or else, I would be an outcast or labeled or considered crazy.
I refused to be what I was not to please others and lie to myself just to get by.
I have received backlash or so-called consequences for doing things my way that others did not understand or interpreted their way as they could see no other way due to their own social conditioning and/or lack of awareness or knowledge in diversity.
Yet, all the occurrences did was make me more determined to maintain my identity and to continue to be who I am.
If anyone is to criticize me, laugh at me, call or consider me insane for sticking to my guns, then so be it.
Nothing can deter me from loving the person within me.
To me, certain others are the crazy ones.
I could just as easily criticize and laugh at them for seeing things in my own way. The way I feel is everyone has the right to be who they are and live out their life accustomed to how they are as long as they do not impose their ways on me and try to make my life difficult on account of their indifference.
I never cared or tried to force my ways on anyone but others failed to treat me in the same. Some people have a problem with control and some cannot deal with what is foreign to what they know and have been taught.
Something unheard of or unorthodox can be disturbing to them.
I am resilient within my natural purpose.
There are times, places, and situations whereas we as people do not necessarily relate to or agree with things, but we may compromise or make allowances. This is vital in life as we must conform when it is contingent upon circumstances.
Of course, there must be order and harmony within living together to humanely survive here on the earth.
However, when it comes to personal identity, I will not budge for anyone.
If more people were allowed to truly be themselves and fresh ideas were contrived in dealing with problems or situations instead of the same predictable methods that I find tiring, annoying, and of no use or affect as one who these measures does not reflect upon accordance with.
This indeed is a sick society.
A lot of what is considered normal among many is what really is abnormal, but it is accepted because abnormal in relation to normal is what is normal to them.
I am so glad to not be normal.
I choose to be a healthy individual who is not a puppet of this world. –latoya lawrence
