I Can Disown My Joy

Then I will never be born again. That didn't make any sense. The cosmic math was all fucked up. The following thoughts flooded my mind: Assuming we would all commit some sins in this life, even if we level out those sins from the past birth, we would have to be born again to atone for the sins accumulated in this lifetime. If x = y + z and all you can level out is the y of the equation, the remainder z ensures that you are born again. If the meaning of life is not to be born again, then why were we born in the first place? Just so that we are not going to be born again? That's quite ridiculous. I knew this old man merely used this philosophy to live as happily as he could. This includes experiences that build sensation awareness and capacity to regulate emotions. Childhood Trauma and Its Devastating Long-Term Effects: The ACEs Study Unlike in the twentieth century, trauma's devastating blow to emotional and physical well-being, cognitive development, and behavior has become common knowledge in recent years thanks to the pioneering research efforts of Dr Bruce D. Perry, psychiatrist and senior fellow from Houston's ChildTrauma Academy; Felitti, from Kaiser Permanente. It's increasingly apparent that trauma's ramifications are far more pervasive than formerly suspected. Without effective interventions, its mark is not outgrown or forgotten. In fact, the consequences worsen over time--wreaking havoc with our endocrine, immune, and cardiovascular systems alongside other mental and physical complications. One of the most impactful and internationally respected studies on trauma, the ACEs study (Adverse Childhood Experiences) conducted by Dr Felitti in collaboration with the Centers for Disease Control (CDC)12 was a long-range, in-depth analysis of more than 17,000 adults. It conclusively linked childhood trauma to the risk of suicide, alcoholism, drug abuse, obesity, and other health risks. Your ability to manage your emotions will depend on the things that you endured in the early part of your life.
If you were loved, nurtured, cared for, and protected, then you will most likely be more stable and feel as you are worthy and have value. For those who were neglected and or abused during infancy and throughout their childhood, they are the ones who consistently display negative emotions. Many times, when an individual has been raised in a somewhat normal home during their childhood, they will be better at handling themselves in difficult situations, as opposed to someone who has had a life full of abuse, they explode quicker. When you have the ability to control those sudden impulses, urges, and strong temptations, it builds up the strength that helps you manage your emotions. Stay Independent in Relationships Do not allow yourself to be dependent on anyone else for your basic needs, this is unhealthy, and it will eventually cause you many problems, and damage your self-esteem and your confidence. You need to be aware of who you are so that you are not in danger of becoming emotionally insecure. This will ensure that you do not consistently depend on others for our basic needs. Not everyone is a nice person who is willing to do things to help others; It explains the tendency for people to take on what they were told during their childhood into their adult life. It is extremely easy for a person to become insecure about an aspect of themselves due to it being instilled by someone as they become older. Keep in mind that this does not have to result from a major trauma. Let's say a person was made fun of in school for some aspect of the way they look, such as their choice of clothing. As they get older, they might find themselves calling every outfit they put together into question because they do not feel like they know what looks good and what does not. They are basing their opinion of themselves on the words of others. They are not taking into consideration the fact that children can be cruel without provocation at times- people, in general, have the capacity for this. They also are not considering the possibility that the other child might have felt jealousy toward them for being able to afford clothes that they could not, so they felt a need to tear their self-esteem down. It might seem far-fetched to imagine that you taught yourself to engage in negative self-talk, but that is what happens when our thoughts are allowed to run unsupervised. Here is what all of this negative thinking ultimately traces back to- there was one thought that came through your mind, and you paid too much attention to it. 500 - Internal Server Error

'>Too late you realize that it must have been an old cup from a week ago that never got thrown away, because you can feel something too horrible to even consider floating in your mouth, and you spit old coffee all over yourself in revulsion.
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