“Oh my God, you’re such a whiner!”, said my girlfriend smilingly to me. I replied back with a mix of whining and knowing, “Yes, and now you see why meditation is so necessary for me!” Not that she doubted the positive effects of meditation, after all she meditates herself, but in that moment praising meditation seemed the right thing to do - more for my benefit than for anyone else’s.
There was truth in what she observed in me. I was whining about something as trivial as getting a haircut. I was doing it half-jokingly; only half jokingly :) …the other half was completely serious. I attempt everyday to get in touch with the child in me, the joking part was whining for that reason, which is probably not a sound method. The serious whiner in me had a serious issue with what was to go along with the haircut - sweeping and showering.
There are a lot of things that I dislike doing, but if you were to ask me to list these, I would be at a loss. Because, I choose not to remember them. I choose not to give them energy. If you were to ask me to list these before Vipassana, I could keep going and going. Back then I lived mostly in avoidance mode. Now I live in doing mode.
The whiner still shows up. It’s first resurfacing occurs without my permission nor my knowledge. My reactionary mind rolls with the whiner in the driver’s seat. It even attempts to disguise the whining as a good thing, like getting in touch with the child in me. Sometimes I am blinded by it, other times not so much. I am still learning the ways of the ingenious mind! Making mistakes to only learn from them.
During times when I recognize the reaction:
- I first acknowledge it, then
- make a decision, and
- shut off my mind
- switching to breathing and being
- …and just go do it. Take Action. Make it Happen!
Yes, some things take more effort in shutting of my mind than others. There are areas that require more stamina to be ‘conquered’ and I have been unable to make them happen as of yet. The cool thing? The little trivial things like the haircut dilemma allow me to build the stamina for conquering stronger whines.
Needless to say, I wouldn’t be here without Vipassana.
