Life Coach Magazine

How to Organize Your Life Like My Boyfriend Does

By Malavika

How to organize your life like my boyfriend does

This is Konstantin (Kostya) when he was a little boy. He still looks the same these days, except now his legs are really big! I wanted to write a post today about the way he organizes his life, because it is one of the things about him that I really appreciate and admire. He lives in such a a well-composed and thoughtful way. I hope that I can learn this from him. I feel like I really need to organize my life so I took some time to think about what little things that he does that allow him to have this power. And this is what I got. I hope you can find something that can help you or inspire you to also start taking control and organize your life from here too!

He has a disciplined schedule

Kostya has a very disciplined schedule. Every day he wakes up at 5:30am and he takes a cold shower. He meditates for 40 minutes, eats breakfast, and then reads or watches lectures (on self-development/spirituality). He then goes to work. When he gets back from work, his evening follows a similar sort of discipline that involves completing all his responsibilities and commitments, making sure all the things on this list are taken care of, and of course – relaxing.

He gets rid of things that are old, doesn’t need, or doesn’t use

I don’t think I am exaggerating when I say that Kostya could probably name every single thing he owns. And it isn’t because he is promoting super-minimalist-living but rather because he values and cares for the things he does own. He needs, uses and likes every thing he owns. I don’t think I can say the same for myself, man, I have so much stuff!

He periodically gets rid of things that are too old, things that he doesn’t need , or things that he doesn’t use. I think this is a very important lesson: you have to get rid of the old in order to be able to bring in the new.

If you keep the old, and still continue to accumulate the new, you will just keep getting “more and more”, whilst developing your greed, and yet never fully valuing anything you own. yuck!

When he sees that an item has become used for ware, he finds an appropriate way to get rid of it – whether that be through donation or a good old fashioned walk to the garbage can.

He donates the clothes/shoes he doesn’t wear anymore – the clothes that he feels he has matured out of, or that he simply doesn’t feel comfortable in anymore. I still have a shiny back skirt (shiny black – what was I thinking?!?!) that I would never even dream about wearing ever again in my life, and yet it still sits in my drawer “just in case”. Just incase what? Just incase I wake up one day and decide I want to dress like a ****?!

Kostya said to me the other day while we enjoyed our (sneaky second) coffee of the day, he said that every item you own takes some of your energy, because in our mind we will always be aware of that item, even if we do not use it much and even if we do not like it very much as well. So the more items you clutter around you, the more dispersed your mental energy becomes. It becomes harder to focus on the things that matter.

Now, I know that we girls have more stuff than boys. It’s just a fact of life. We have all our make up, skin care products, clothes, accessories, shoes “Cute things”, the list goes on and on and gets more and more ridiculous, but I guess that’s just the way it is. I don’t want to sacrifice my entire make up collection just so I can “have less stuff”, but I do think its important that I give away the products that I would choose not to use anymore, and throw out the products that are too old to use now anyway. When it comes to make-up, I think it would be good to go through each area and ask myself “what don’t I need anymore?” – For example – foundations – I personally only need one foundation (I know some people like to have more than one, different coverages and stuff – and that’s fine – just know how much you do need) so I should decide one the one I am keeping and using, and that means I can throw out all these other random almost-empty bottles that I have been saving “just incase”. Do this with all your other stuff too.

He updates different areas of his life periodically

Because he is so efficient with getting rid of the things he does not need, he can more clearly assess the state of his life right now. He can see it for what it is. Every so often he makes conscious efforts to “update” his life. That boy loves to update things. He will postpone playing a video game if he sees that there is an update to download first. He loves it. It’s actually what he does for fun! So he does this in his life too. Because he has a clear itinerary in his mind of all the “systems” in his life, he can also assess when it’s time for a life-update. Like if it’s time to purchase a new jacket, or buy a new set of fresh white socks. When it’s time he can get rid of all his old socks and buy the new ones – and simply “refresh” his sock system. He does this periodically but consistently, and also puts a lot of care into what systems are in place right now – that he never has to spend a whole bunch of money at once. He is very thoughtful like that.

He also makes little updates for his life in this way too, if he sees there is an area of his life that could use a boost, for the next little while he will focus on that area of his life and make all the improvements necessary in that area. He will set some new goals, make some new plans, and put his attention there.

Because of this habit it makes his life always seem so “refreshed”.

He incorporates new healthy habits one at time, and is consistent with them

Kostya’s personal development is always ongoing and consistent. He finds a new habit that he would like to incorporate into his life and starts small. Even a small one – he treats it with importance. For example – deciding to drink a glass of milk in the mornings. He decides that this is what he will do. He buys milk, and then in the morning, he drinks a glass of milk in the morning. He keeps doing this, and along the way if he realizes that he would like to make any adjustments to this – he does so, such as the kind of milk, or the right time for him to drink milk etc.

What new habits would you like to incorporate in your life, and how can you start small, and put your care and attention onto that one thing?

He is aware of all his commitments and responsibilities

Whenever a new responsibility or commitment enters his life he takes the time to understand the nature of it. What exactly does it require? When does it start and when does it end? How much will it cost? How much mental energy will it take? He understands all these things before committing, and when he does commit, he keeps this information in his mind. He is always aware of what is required of him, and when you have his word on somethings, he is not the kind of man to break it. Because he takes the time to really understand his commitments, it is rare that you will see him stressed out by them – because nothing can surprise him. He has already thought about it – the potential rewards and risks, the requirements, the time frame. I never see him “stressed out” or “confused” about where his life is taking him.

Also, he can avoid putting too much onto his plate at one time, so he always remains in control of where he is putting his energy, time and attention.

Everything has a purpose

Every thing he owns serves a purpose, and he doesn’t go overboard and own many of the same things with slight variations. Everything has an assigned use; he has a certain cup that he drinks his coffee in, a cup for tea, a glass for water/juice/milk, the candle he likes to light in the evening. Just little things like that. Because everything has significance, and since he has created a habit out of using certain things for certain purposes – he avoids hoarding and collecting a bunch of clutter. If he had a lot of everything he would just be piling up a bunch of things – none of which get used very much in the end, because there are so many options.

Everything belongs somewhere

Kostya has a place in his home (and his life) for every single thing he owns. Nothing floats around from location to location. Everything has a place. Even every document (even if he has a single piece of paper – that has a place too, and when he no longer has a need for it – he throws it out. Everything goes somewhere, and after he uses something he makes sure it goes back into it’s home. Another thing I noticed is that he takes care to make sure that most of these “homes” are concealed and neat. He doesn’t have a tonn of stuff on display, he finds places behind cupboard doors, inside boxes and containers. The things he does have on “display” are very few – but those things still have a purpose and always go back to that same place. Whenever he brings something new into his home, the first thing he does is find a place for it.

Because of this he reduces the clutter in his living space and in his life. Also, he never has to “search for something” because he already knows where everything is supposed to be. Simple, but so efficient, time saving – and helps keep an organized home.

He cleans and organizes as he goes

When you live a messy lifestyle – your motto is – leave things as they are. When you live a tidy life, your motto is – leave things as they were before you used it. And if you live a super-organized-konsantin-life your motto is – leave things better than when you used it. Whatever he uses or does, he makes sure to put in a little bit more effort to leave it running a little bit smoother than it was before. Whatever he takes out, he puts away. Whatever he puts away, he organizes. He does this so consistently that it never seems to take much effort at all, because everything already has a sense of order. So, it never looks like he has to spend a lot of time on organizing because he cleans and organizes as he goes. If he goes to put something away and notices that he could organize that place a little better, he quickly does it. It takes like 2 minutes. If he goes to put something away and notices that it could use a quick wipe down or dusting – he does it right then and there. 2 minutes. Done.

Because of this you will never catch him on a “bad day” where everything is messy and disorganized. It just isn’t him. Because he applies little bits of effort on a consistent and daily basis, he never has to do a “big clean” or a big “organize my life party.” Pretty neat!

He honors his daily routines

When I think about Kostya, I can’t help but feel that he lives such a well composed life. Not only is everything is calm, stable, consistent – but I think the most alluring feature is the fact that you can feel so much care towards his daily routines of daily living.

I think it’s very important to honor your daily routines – the things you do every day, even if you think that they are mundane and unimportant – these little things that build an inner foundation of joy in your day to day life.

There are things that we have to do every day, and we can choose to see them as an  act of love and peace, or we can choose to see them as routine chores. Things like: preparing and eating breakfast, your hot cup of coffee, making your bed, taking a shower, reading, meditation, eating fruits, writing in your journal, lighting candles and burning incense in the evening.

It inspires me to see the care and attention that he puts into his daily acts of living. As I said, it gives off a feeling of such a well composed life. I never see him rushing through these things, he takes his time, does them with love and attention, and finds joy in them. I think that is one of the things that makes him such a bright person.

Honor your daily acts of living – make them beautiful.

He addresses things immediately

I know that I sometimes have a bad habit of thinking “Oh this looks important, I guess I’ll get to it later then”. Well, if this “important thing” doesn’t seem important to me immediately, I can hazard the guess that it will probably never feel “important enough” for me, and either it never gets done, or it just builds up and builds up until I feel stressed to the point that I finally HAVE to do it, and then even when it’s done, I don’t feel that accomplished, I simply feel l escaped and then I usually just feel disappointed in myself that I don’t care more about the things I should care about. Kostya never leaves important things for the last minute. Everything is dealt with so appropriately and with care and attention. One thing that I love and admire about him the most is how caring he is. He cares about people and about things.

When a new item enters his “to-do list” he makes a decision right then and there of what to do with it. If he can take action on it right now – he will. He is not lazy and he never makes excuses. If he cannot take action on that item right now, he makes a decision of how he can proceed in the future. He makes a plan right away. Because of that, random items on his to-do list don’t go fruitlessly floating around in his brain and distracting him from this special moment. He’s already made a decision of action, so he can let that go completely and enjoy his life.

He stocks up his groceries wisely

Kostya hates wasting food. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do it! He shops very wisely. He grocery shops in small amounts but regularly to avoid food going bad. He also makes sure he always has the essentials (milk, butter, cheese, vegetables, grains etc) and plans his food according to how his week is looking.

He saves

He saves his money and he pays off debts as fast as he possibly can. Nothing more to say about that, but I am sure that making a conscious effort on being financially sound only adds to his inner sense of calm and balance.

His work-out schedule is non-negotiable

Kostya is a bboy (breakdancer) and he is very good at it! He practices 3 times a week 2 hours each. It’s non negotiable. He has only missed a practice if he is away with work. He never contemplates “do I feel like practicing this evening? hmmm” No, he just does it. Because of this he doesn’t waste his energy on thoughts like “I said I would go, but I didn’t go, man, I can’t even keep promises to myself, I suck, I will never improve!” and other such mental conversations with himself. He makes consistent and regular steps towards his passion, fitness, and health – so that is just another reason why his life feels positive and stable.

Make your work-out schedule non-negotiable. If you negotiate with your ego and emotions, you will always lose.

He lives by his values

Kostya, like all of us, has his own values about life and how to live a good one. He believes in his duties as a father, a partner, a friend. He believes in loyalty, friendship, honesty, integrity, responsibility, caring. He practices vegetarianism, surrounds himself with resources that help him advance spiritually and as a man. He laughs a lot, plays pranks (usually on me

) helps people, grows strawberries, knows the lyrics to all the backstreet boys songs, thinks Sophie-Ellis-bexter is hot, and sometimes drinks water straight out of a green tea pot.

To the most magnificent boy in the universe,

I know that I am truly blessed.

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