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How to Help a Child Who Is Grieving

Posted on the 25 March 2022 by Melissa Jiggetts @jiggettsmelissa

As a mother, it is hard to see our children in pain. When a child is grieving, it is even harder. We want to do everything we can to take their pain away and make them feel better, but sometimes we just don’t know what to do.

It can be incredibly difficult to know how to help a child get through losing someone they loved. Particularly if they are still young and if this is their first real encounter with death. Here are some ideas worth considering. 

How to Help a Child Who Is Grieving

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Let Them Grieve

It’s important that you do let your child grieve if they are experiencing a loss. You need to give them space to be sad and if they want to be alone that’s okay too. If this is their first true loss, then it’s unlikely that they will want to deal with things by themselves forever. Eventually they will come to you, but while they are grieving you may want to watch on from a distance. It’s important that you don’t try to tell them how to mourn as this can be both confusing and frustrating. 

Talk To Them About Their Feelings 

Next, you should talk to them about their feelings and what they are going through. You should only do this once they are ready to take this step with you. Don’t rush to speak to them about it if they are not ready. When you do finally speak with them, make sure that you keep things positive. This is particularly important for younger children. Talk to them about the memories they shared with the person they have lost and the wonderful experiences that they had together. Tell them your own personal memories that they might not be aware of as well. 

Let Them Hold On 

Sometimes, children will find it easier to get past a loss if they have something that they can hold onto or something that they can see which is connected to the one that they have lost. For instance, you might want to display an urn that stores the loved one’s ashes. Organic natural urns look beautiful and can be a great choice that will fit well with any type of home design. You might even want to let your child help you choose one so they feel more involved in this process. 

Let Them Know No One Is Truly Gone 

Finally, you need to ensure that they know no one is truly gone. This is true regardless of whether you are religious or not. If you are religious, you can talk to them about the teachings which relate to the afterlife. If you’re not, then you can talk about how people live on through the memories as well as the actions that we complete in their memories. They live on through the people that they leave behind and those who they interacted with. There’s likely lots of people your child can talk to who has memories about the person they have lost. This can be key for helping them move on. 

We hope this helps you understand some of the key steps that you can take to help your child get past a loss. Don’t forget, this can also help you if the person they lost was someone you loved too. 

Losing a loved one is never easy, but it can be especially difficult for children. As a mother, you want to do everything in your power to help your child get through this tough time. The tips we’ve provided should help you start the healing process. Remember to let them grieve in their own way and at their own pace, talk to them about their feelings when they’re ready, and give them something to hold onto if it helps. Finally, remind them that the person they lost is never truly gone.


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