We often hear that the relationship dynamics between a husband and a wife change when a little baby enters the equation. The new entrant makes sure that he takes up the bulk of his parents' time, effort and energy, thereby changing their relationship with everyone around them!
No matter how cordial (or otherwise) your relationship with your Mother in Law has been so far, it is sure to change with a new baby in the picture, and it may take a turn for the worse. Since time immemorial, raising children is a topic where the generations tend to differ. With more educated mothers and newer research happening in this field, modern Moms follow a child rearing approach that most of her older counterparts are likely to disagree with.
One common sore point between the young and the old is when it comes to baby's food, as if it wasn't stressful enough already! For example, an older family member or the Mother in Law may think it's adorable to see the youngest family member smearing his face with a chocolate cream biscuit, and they may even let them feast on quite a few of them! However, the mother may be horrified at the amount of sugar her little darling is ingesting! Such differences in opinion usually cause many clashes between the generations, especially between the new Mom and her Mother in law. But don't worry; even this seemingly impossible situation can be resolved with a little understanding and help from our side! Lear now to deal with your mother in law while raising your new born baby!!
1. Understand That They Mean Well
Problems arise when each person believes that he or she is absolutely right. The fact is that the baby's health and safety is topmost on everyone's mind, and no one would want to take a chance to do something that might harm the baby. So the first step in dealing with older relatives is to understand and firmly believe in the logic that they mean well and are really concerned about the little one's well being. They are just trying to help you do the right thing based upon their experiences and opinions.
2. Pediatricians To The Rescue
Take your Mother in Law or other relatives along with your husband for regular pediatrician visits. Discussing baby issues together will help you clear doubts and will establish a more streamlined approach for the family to care for the baby as a unit. No one will want to go against the doctor's advice and risk the little one's health!
3. Say NO to Cold War
It is quintessential to communicate whenever there is a difference of opinion between you and your elders. No matter how easy a cold war or a "silent treatment" may seem, it will only worsen the situation and create an unhealthy atmosphere at home. Have an open discussion with your relatives without accusing or sounding condescending and provide reasons behind your actions, especially if they go against established traditional norms.
4. Keep An Ice Pack Handy
There we've said it! It's important to keep your cool to maintain better relationships and a calm mind, which is essential for your overall mental health. A new baby is stressful as it is, and the last thing you need is breeding resentment waiting to erupt like a volcano!! So the next time you feel like exploding, use the ice pack and play it cool - for your sake as well as your baby's!
5. It is always "OUR" Baby
It is only natural to understand your concern for the well being of your baby. But at the same time, it is important to realize that the others in your family love your baby too and want to help. Let them participate in activities like massaging, bathing, putting the baby to sleep etc. This will help them feel valued and useful, and they'll appreciate you all the more for it, rather than thinking of you as a "NO" Machine! Involving them in caring for your baby will enhance their bonding with the little one, and as we all agree, babies can't get too much love!!
When you're dealing with lack of sleep and a continuous cycle of nappies and feeding, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and any advice or offers to help can seem like interference. But all you need to do is change your approach a little and accept the help offered; we know how badly you need it! Helpful, supportive elders can be a great boon to a new Mom and baby, and a great relationship between this trio can ensure a happy and loving environment for everyone at home.
AuthorHave you faced problems with elders in your family when it comes to raising your child? How did you deal with them?
Honey Nagpal Lalwani
Lots of Love,
