You as a wife may be enjoying good relations with your in laws. But suddenly you find that your in laws are not behaving rationally. They tend to fight with you, abuse you and criticize you for nothing. Should you also abuse you? The answer is a big NO. Previously we have also shared some tips for mother in law to be good with daughter in law over here.
Physical abuse is never recommended neither is emotional abuse. You have to bite the bullet on this one - give your husband fair warning, lay down the cards on what you expect from now on otherwise you are leaving with your child - do not wait for the next issue to arise, do it with a clear mind. Chances are he will think you are bluffing, if so, pack your things immediately and leave with your kids to your parents or someone who will take you in for a while. If he comes back and tells you things will be different, accept it as long as he has a home for you to move in without the in-laws - do not move out until that is done and you see the lease or deed.
If he does not come back or does not compromise, it sounds you will be better off without him. Many families will hardly have a solution except separation, [ How to Fix the Relationship]. If you love your husband but he doesn't love you.You have to face it. If he would have loved you, he might have supported you. Both parents and wife are important. [fsdds]
At times you may seem to stuck between a situation where you & your husband don't know what to do. Your husband is stuck between your love and his mother's love. Its hard for him to get separated from his mother when she is not well but at the same time he should understand your feelings.
Alternate Options
You should express your feelings, your emotions to husband separately with calm mind, and if this doesn't help, do the followings-
1. Complain to the police about the domestic violence & they have to register your case.
2. Take help of your friends, try to stay away with your kids for some days but you should start working so that you can fulfill your needs.
3. Get a divorce from your husband as living alone is better than living in hell. [ What are the Effects of a Breakup]
No one gets "cured", no one can change the past; seek with an open heart for the good aspects of your in-laws. No doubt they are from a different clan. You fell in love with, wed and aligned yourself with this man. Learn how to navigate their ways. Of course no one is always right. Only human.
Aristotle looked at every virtue as a middle point between two extremes. For example, courage is the midpoint between recklessness and timidity. Honesty is the midpoint between rudeness and a lie.
You are living with someone stuck on an extreme, and that is no virtue. Little by little you and your husband conceded your normal behavior to her abnormal behavior. Now little by little you need to return to normalcy.
That means, without concession or apology, living your lives as you see fit in that house. If there is any way to get her to accept treatment, by all means, get her the help she needs. But by all means, don't allow her extreme behavior to unbalance your lives.
Read: Why You Should Be Loyal to Your Spouse
