While we can’t be sure of what the results will be on November 8th—we can be sure that this race has had, and will continue to have, a negative impact on many relationships. Husbands and wives, extended family members, parents and their grown children, dating singles, co-workers, friends, and neighbor relationships have all felt the sting of this election on their interactions with one another. It seems that it’s not possible for most people to feel only a little like or dislike for either Presidential candidate—they either love them or hate them. Then there are the many who hate both and want someone altogether to be our next leader of the free world. And many of these lovers and haters are in close relationships with each other but on different sides of this issue.
The stories and anecdotes are everywhere. There have been fistfights at family events, couples have stopped speaking to one another, and those who are single and dating have found another challenge to add to the usual one of finding someone they are compatible with. It seems like a great challenge for many people to just let it go when someone praises this person they don’t support. It’s as though folks feel that if someone can support THAT person, there is something really wrong with them and/or their thinking—and they wonder about the person’s values and true feelings. GEEEZZZ
All of this is a reflection of the great divide between people that has plagued this country for several years—we have devolved into an “us and them society.” Somehow we have lost the ability to hear one another out, and respect one another, while acknowledging that we have different perspectives and ideas about what the best choice in a leader would be. People appear to be making very clear judgements about one another, and deciding that there can be no middle ground. This election is being taken very personally by many people.
All of this is much like what happens when a marriage goes bad. Couples began making accusations, stop listening, are disrespectful towards one another—and wonder what they ever thought they saw in this person. They question each others’ values and motives and all common ground dissolves. If it goes on too long, they often reach a point of no return.
It doesn’t have to be this way. We can respectfully agree to disagree, discuss our choices in calm, respectful tones, not interrupt, ban all shouting and name calling—and even make some small attempt to see the world through the other person’s eyes. Imagine a world where we all tried to treat those around us like we would want to be treated. It will never be a perfect world—but that would get us as close as we could ever be.
It’s also what happy marriages are grounded in.
