As a fiancé-to-be thinking about how much to spend on an engagement ring for your future wife, it's easy to feel frustrated. How do you know what's a good or fair amount? What if you get ripped off or disappoint your fiancée?
This topic is fairly frequently discussed in our . Of course, there are differing opinions, but the overriding sense is that there is no set answer. A number of different variables come into play. What matters is identifying which factors are most important to you as a couple, and this will enable you to decide on the right amount to spend on an engagement ring in your case.
Why so much angst?
When you make other big purchases, you usually have a couple of things working in your favor. You tend to know a thing or two about what you're buying, and you tend to have some experience. It's also usually for yourself, not for the love of your life.
With an engagement ring, most people don't yet know much about jewelry and diamonds. They haven't 'been here before'. But there is desperation to get it right because this is a gift for the person they love. There is so much symbolism tied up in the purchase that it's easy for a guy to break a sweat just thinking about it.
By the end of this article, you'll feel a whole lot more confident.
How much to spend on an engagement ring according to others
When you begin your research you'll come across a couple of concepts.
First is the traditional notion that you should spend the equivalent of 2-3 months of your salary on the engagement ring. You can eliminate this idea from your decision process because this was actually part of an advertising campaign by De Beers , when they were trying to reignite spending on diamonds following a downturn. That's all it was, and so has minimal relevance today, or for you individually. You may want to spend more, or you may want to spend less.
However, by being attracted to these 'rules' about how much to spend on an engagement ring, we don't pay enough attention to the individuality of this purchase. More than any other purchase you'll ever make, there are emotions tied up in this, and that's okay. What's more important in determining the amount to spend is who you both are as a couple.
The factors that determine: How much to spend on an Engagement Ring?
Immediately, we can identify a problem with the concept of 2-3 months' salary as a spending amount. Two individuals heading out to buy a ring, with identical salaries, may have very different financial situations. One may have limited disposable income, following mortgage, student loans, other debt, healthcare costs etc. On the other hand, the other individual, who is earning the same salary, may have far fewer outgoings. Despite the same salary, the second individual can afford to spend more.
This should be your primary consideration: what can you afford to spend on an engagement ring?
Sit down and do the math.
Many of our forum discussions tend to reveal that users are more concerned about value than expense. It's one thing to set your budget. It's another to get the best engagement ring you can within that budget.
This is very difficult for inexperienced jewelry buyers. It's why you'll really benefit from asking for help on the PriceScope forum . As PriceScope member Klavigne : "If you need help finding something great on your budget, [you're] in the right place. The amount of bargain hunters around here, they could find anything!!" He explains about his own personal quest for value, by explaining about his fiancée:
"She [couldn't] actually care less that it's a VVS1 and a D color, she doesn't even understand any of it really. But to me it was very important that I give her the best I could."
Budgets and Taste changes over time
There's also the reality that when an individual is buying an engagement ring, they are probably at a relatively low point with their earning potential. In 10 years' time, they will usually be earning considerably more.
On the forum, our users point out that there is a way around this. They recommend choosing vendors who have upgrade policies that allow you to trade in the diamond over time. This is another way of measuring value; by choosing something which you can change in the future.
An opportunity to start your life together
Moving away from the dated De Beers advertising concept, the modern couple can view buying an engagement ring as a much more collaborative process. Part of this includes setting the budget together, rather than simply leaving it all down to the groom. This will also help to ensure that the bride-to-be receives an engagement ring that reflects her taste and style, rather than having to simply accept what's been chosen for her, even if she doesn't like it.
LaylaR sums it up really well, : "It's an opportunity to practice the skills that make marriage work: communication, respect, honesty, and consideration. Take an honest look at your finances, together. Look at rings together. Discuss styles, options, budgets. Research cut and quality and value (with jewelry the lowest cost option can be a very poor value). As long as the budget is right for the two of you. Everything else... that's just noise."
It's not the right approach for every couple, but where both parties earn, and you are stepping away from more traditional roles, it can be the right way to set the budget and choose the ring.
Think about what matters to you and your significant other
If working together to set the budget doesn't suit you, that is okay too. Some couples want to keep the surprise element and the sense that the one getting down on one knee has really thought about what their partner would like.
In this case, set your budget according to what you can afford and then think about what is important in the choice, for your partner, and in terms of value.
You'll need to consider how important to her it is to fit in with her friends, how much she loves bling, and her style. Look for clues in jewelry she already wears and any hints she has dropped. Try to find out everything you can about her expectations.
A word about financing
Many jewelers offer financing options, so it can be tempting to go down this route in order to increase your budget.
There are times when this may suit you. For example, if you have only just started your first graduate job and can reasonably expect your income to become more stable very quickly. However, try to only use financing for a few months, so as not to overstretch.
Making the most of your engagement ring budget
As you'll have discovered, the trick is to make your budget - whatever you set it as - go as far as it can. There are some ways to ensure this.
Make sure you always look for engagement rings with appropriate certification . This will help ensure that you get a diamond quality that reflects what you pay for it. Consider the . This will help you choose a diamond that appears bigger, even with a lower Cut of the diamond Carat Weight . It is the Cut that determines the sparkle of the stone, which is important to pretty much everyone! Consider the too. Not all Clarity grading can be appreciated by the naked eye. You can settle for diamonds with a VS1 or VS2 Clarity grade, as any inclusions won't be obvious to the naked eye. It's also worth learning about diamond and how this can affect your budget.
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