Even for the most seasoned traveler, taking your first trip as a new family can be a daunting prospect. Having worked as a travel journalist for ten years, I have a fair bit of experience under my belt, but when I first flew with my daughter, I was overwhelmed. There's so much to think about before you even leave that some, myself included, might wonder if it would be easier to stay home (or at least holiday in the UK).
But don't do that. With some careful planning and a "whatever happens, happens" attitude, you can get through it. Here's what I learned.
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Location, location, location
If it's your first flight with a child and you want to minimise transit time on both sides, choose destinations that don't require a long journey on arrival. For our first holiday abroad, we chose Sintra, Portugal, an hour's drive from Lisbon, for simple, smart reasons: good weather, short flight, no time difference and within easy reach of an airport with plenty of flights from the UK.
You can also choose to split your trip for longer journeys. We flew into Athens, where we stayed for a couple of nights, before taking the ferry to the Cyclades, to split up the 24-hour journey. (A note on ferries: once you're on them, they're great, as there are no rules about sitting.)
Airplane sailing
Reserve seats or not?
I've done both. If you're travelling with a baby on British Airways, you can actually choose a seat for yourself and everyone else in your booking (up to nine people) for free, which is a blessing. Ryanair gives children (aged two to 11) free reserved seats, so they can sit next to a parent. EasyJet doesn't offer free reservations, so either pay to be together or check in as early as possible.
Please note that all children under 12 must travel with an adult (defined as over 16) on a flight. If you take the risk and do not book, the airline must arrange a seat together for you.
Although a friend of mine recently did this and had to endure the pain of cabin crew asking passengers to switch seats (on an already delayed flight) so she could sit next to her two year old (and no one was very forthcoming). Note that those traveling with children under two are usually required to sit in a window seat as well.
Babies (under two years)
Children under two usually fly 'free' on your lap (you pay a fee or a small fee). British Airways, Ryanair and easyJet allow two free pieces of equipment - a pushchair, car seat or carrycot - plus extra hand luggage for the baby, but other airlines vary, so check before you book. (This same rule usually applies to children over two, but check with the specific airlines.)
If you are on a long flight and need a carrycot, you must book one in advance (for example, with British Airways you have to call) and it is first come, first served. Some airlines also offer a car seat, if you are prepared to buy an extra seat. The baby can only sit in this if the seat belt symbol is off.
There are a handful of strollers that will fit in an overhead bin (the Babyzen Yoyo or Bugaboo Butterfly, for example), otherwise you can usually wheel it up to the platform before it goes into the hold. If this is the case, it's worth bringing a baby carrier in case you have to wait and need to be hands-free.
Baby formula and sterilised water are not included in the 100ml rule for liquids. Take dummies and/or feeding equipment, as sucking helps a baby's ears during take-off and landing, and toys to distract them - spinners that stick to windows or tables are lightweight and will keep them occupied.
If the airport offers fast track security and passport control, it might be worth buying one. Being stuck in a long security queue with an unhappy baby (or adventurous toddler) is torture. (Although these queues can sometimes be longer than normal queues, it's always worth checking.) The Stansted FastTrack pass, for example, costs just £7 per person. However, some airports, such as Lisbon, conveniently have separate check-in and security queues for those travelling with children, so it might not be necessary.
Airlines often ask families to board first, but that's not always a good idea. It just means they'll be on the plane longer.
The good news is that from the age of two they have their own seat and, if you fly long distance, their own screen on the back of the seat. The bad news is that you pay (almost) the full fare.
You also have to entertain them. On a recent flight to the United States, I bought my two-year-old daughter a bag full of new trinkets and toys-stickers, crayons, a fishing game, cars-all wrapped in tissue paper (not taped, in case security wanted to see through it).
As any parent of a toddler knows, snacks are vital in all situations, and flying is no different. I used my child's entire carry-on bag for snacks (corn fritters, yogurt sachets, fruit). I also packed a tray of "emergency" cupcakes that I knew would work if a tantrum broke out at an inopportune moment - although I did get frustrated at security when the bag was checked, resulting in her seeing them and demanding one before we were even on the plane. A wise relative also gave me a lollipop (which we normally forbid her to have) and it was a lifesaver when we landed, after almost 18 hours of travel.
In terms of gear, apart from a pair of over-ear headphones for any screens (which I also packed), there's not much you can take with you.
Be careful with the much-touted seat extenders, as they are not allowed on certain airlines (British Airways, for example, does not allow them). Always call ahead to check if they will be confiscated, and even then, be prepared for them to be confiscated, as a colleague recently learned.
Finally, I wish I had had a toddler carrier for the long line at border control when my daughter refused to get into her stroller or be put to sleep.
Baby on board
Book a car well in advance, ideally with a company that has a kiosk in the arrivals hall, or even better, a company that will deliver a car directly outside the terminal. The hassle of a transfer bus between the terminal and a garage is not ideal.
If your child is under two, it is best to bring your own car seat: you can't guarantee that they will be in stock at busy times, so you may end up with a seat that is not suitable for their age. Some airports have independent car seat hire companies that you can pick up on arrival, before you hire the car.
Pack light(er)
You don't need nearly as much as you think, especially if you have a washing machine and are traveling somewhere warm. I've also washed a lot of baby items in a hotel sink.
Key items we brought included a comforter that smelled like home and a book to help recreate the bedtime routine.
A night light and a white noise machine (your phone can work for the latter) are recommended, even if you don't use them at home - you never know what the light situation will be like or what you'll need to drown out. A SnoozeShade for the stroller was also essential for sun protection and outdoor naps.
And take enough nappies to last a few days - I wrongly assumed I could buy them in bulk from Aldi in Portugal, and then spent an afternoon driving around chemists (a different beast on the continent). The same happened in Greece. You can stuff them in shoes and on the side of your suitcase. Otherwise I know people who have had Boots nappies delivered to their terminal branches so they don't take up precious boot space - but it depends how much you want to take.
It is best to take Calpol and ibuprofen (always have one in your hand luggage) rather than trying to find it in a stressful situation (and/or in a different language). Same goes for eczema creams or something like that.
And finally, use packing cubes for the whole family. They are essential for keeping everyone's things organized and you can put them in the closet right away when you get there.
Manage expectations
Perhaps the most important tip of all: it's no longer fly-and-flop. It's fly-and-... parent in other, more exciting and (hopefully) sunnier places. And, if you're staying in a hotel, less housework.
Do you have any tips for traveling with babies and young children? Share them in the comments below.
