Community Magazine

History: Dating

By Authorsbelle @AuthorSBelle
I met my soon to be ex at church when I was 14 years old and he was 18 years old.  He was a senior and I was a freshman.  No, it was not love at first sight.  Yes, I did think he was "hot", but I was aware of the complications of dating someone leaving for college.  Not to mention the fact that my parents were screaming "no" at the top of their lungs.  Instead of dating, we chose to become friends.

However, it soon became obvious that he wanted to be more than friends.  Even after leaving for college, he would come home every weekend to see me.  At some point he began dating someone else, but he broke up with her the second my parents told me I could date.  

To make a long story short, we dated for the next 5 years.  The only time we broke up was 5 months into the relationship when I said I love you.  He said I love you very soon into the relationship, but I refused to say it until I knew I felt it.  He "freaked out" and then came crawling back a couple months later.  Why did he freak out?  He knew that I do not say anything unless I mean it.  Ever.  
So here we are, back to wondering how and why I am getting a divorce.  I'm sure we'll get there soon enough.  First I'd like to list a few key points of the dating years.

1)  We remained celibate.  We are both Christian, and I wanted to save myself for marriage.  I believed then, as I do now, that the only man with any right to my body is my husband.  Will my views change after divorce?  I doubt it.  I'll revisit the sex debate later.  I promise!!!

2)  We went to separate universities.  I didn't want to go to his just because he was there.  I wanted to make sure I chose the school that was best for my future.  

3)  At no point during the dating years did we actually live in the same city for more than a few months at a time.  When we did, I never let it interfere with my studies. 

4)  Neither of us can remember our first kiss.  I'm not sure why I am including this in the list, but for some reason I feel that it is noteworthy.

5)  He was constantly pursuing me.  He moved to my college town to work when he got done with college.  He drove hours to get to me on important dates.  He constantly spoke of how much he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever. 

6)  He asked me what kind of ring I wanted and took me ring shopping.  No, I did not hint beforehand.  Honestly, I thought we would still date a year after I graduated before seriously discussing marriage. 

7)  We almost broke up during my freshman year of college.  There was a female at his college that was pursuing him.  I told him to deal with the problem or we could break up.  He dealt with it, and we worked on our communication skills.  I admit I was not as available in college as I had been in high school.  We both had to adjust and learn to communicate.  

Next post will be on the engagement and wedding.  I'll go in to a little more detail there.  Stay tuned!  :)

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