Sometimes ironic, sometimes retro-chic, hipsters are the compass that points our culture toward cool.
The horn rimmed glasses and skinny jeans have almost become the uniform of the mainstream, wanna-be hipster. Anyone wearing these is usually a poseur to the Nth degree or a model in a J. Crew ad. To keep themselves one step ahead of what society holds in high regard, hipsters often look towards the past to determine what is ironically fashionable.
This is how a hipster hitches a ride to Boston.
Today’s hipsters have traded in their iPods for old school cassette players. 52″ flat screen televisions are disdained in exchange for a 1972 Zenith Chromacolor. The Blu-Ray movies so sought after by others take a backseat to a thrift store-rescued VCR. The Wii? That’s been tossed aside for an Atari 2600. At a certain point, though, even these items become cool again to the mainstream. As a result, hipsters must find something else they can call cool, if only for a short while.
So, in an effort to throw off the shackles of the Starbucks-sipping, Taylor Swift-listening mainstream, today’s hipsters have had to reach even deeper into their backpack of tricks. And with 91% of Americans owning a cellphone, that technology was the natural choice to be rejected.
“I had a cellphone for years,” says urban hipster, Glen. “Now, even my dad’s boss has a cellphone and that guy’s a douchebag. If I kept my phone, I’d be just another douchebag. So, I traded my iOS for Morse.”
Across America, hipsters like Glen have taken to wearing portable telegraph machines. Long dead, the telegraph wires are once again alive with the dots and dashes of social media. While limited to whom one can communicate with, telegraphy is seeing its resurgence skyrocket alongside 8-tracks and Cosby sweaters.
Hipster couple, Erica and Josef, have their own preferred method of communication: semaphore pantomime.
Roland, a handlebar mustached hipster from Berkeley who hates the word ‘hipster’ and asks we not used it, said, “If I have something to say about a band, I Morse it. If I know of a great party, I Morse it. If I want to ridicule how lame people are or just how I hate people who are lame, I Morse it.”
Roland, who Tweets under the handle @rolandwhtvrurlame, recently used his portable telegraph to review the anime film, Pretty Armor Ghost Chill:
- …. .. … / .. … / – …. . / -… . … – / — — …- .. . / -.– — ..- .—-. …- . / -. . …- . .-. / … . . -. .-.-.- / … – — .–. / .– .- – -.-. …. .. -. –. / — .. -.-. …. .- . .-.. / -… .- -.– / ..-. .. .-.. — … / .- -. -.. / – …. .. -. -.- / ..-. — .-. / -.– — ..- .-. … . .-.. ..-. .-.-.- / .- -. .. — . / .. … / – …. . / — -. .-.. -.– / – .-. ..- . / .- .-. – / ..-. — .-. — .-.-.-
In an email interview with notable hipster, Ian of Fort Collins, we wondered if there might be a day when we all trades in our smartphones for portable telegraphy. Whether because it harkened back to a simpler time or because it was more cost-effective than a smartphone, perhaps wearable telegraph machines were, in fact, the wave of the future. “I knew you would ask that,” Ian scoffed, before adding:
– -.– / – . .-.. . –. .-. .- .–. …. / .. … / – …. . / -… . … – / – …. .. -. –. / . …- . .-. .-.-.- / .. ..-. / -.– — ..- / …. .- …- . / — -. . –..– / – …. . -. / .. – .—-. .-.. .-.. / -… . / .-.. .- — . / .- -. -.. / .. / .– .. .-.. .-.. / …. .- …- . / – — / –. . – / .- / …. — — .. -. –. / .–. .. –. . — -. .-.-.- / -.. .. -.-. -.- .-.-.-
For the rest of us, we are fortunate to have online translators to help us understand what the coolest among us have to say.
