Humor Magazine

Help Us Celebrate Our One Year Anniversary with a Chance to Win Cash and Prizes!

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

LAP Aniversary Banner

Today is a very special day here at Long Awkward Pause because it marks our first year anniversary!

*Throws confetti*

*Spits out confetti*

After all the hard work and bantering that’s gone on over the past year, we’ve decided to conduct a pop quiz today to see how well you think you know the staff.

For the first time ever we’re pulling back the curtains to give you a peek into the top-secret lives of each of the group’s members.  In order to do that however, we’re gonna need a little bit of participation from you.

In the spirit of exhibitionism and for the sake of educational purposes, and after signing a liability waiver under duress, each of our staff writers forked over a handful of juicy personal tidbits about themselves to make today’s quiz possible.

Some of these facts are embarrassing, some are enlightening, and some are just  plain ridiculous – but all of them are true.  Please remember to fill out your score sheets with a number 2 pencil approved of by the National Partnership and Institute of Scholarly Bullshit Test Writers Association Inc.

Or just a crayon will work.

The Details:

The participant who scores the highest will win an undisclosed prize package courtesy of LAP (hehe).  If there are multiple highest scores, each winner’s name will be tossed into a random drawing to determine the winner.  You only get one shot, so make your answers count.  Answers will be revealed and the winner announced next Thursday, June 19th.  

Only the letters of your selected answers are required in the comment section, but feel free to leave a smart-ass one-liner too, if you’d like.  For example, your comment might look something like this:

A, A, B, D, C, E, A…  

Oh, and by the way, suck it, Chowderhead!

Get it? Got it? Good.

Good luck!

Question 1:

Which member of LAP is a former musician in a band that used saws, drills, and water glasses as instruments?

Ned Hickson
  A.)  Ned Hickson

Omawarisan
  B.)  Omawarisan

Chris De Voss
  C.)  Chris De Voss

MMM
  D.)  Miss Melisa Mae

Question 2:

Which member of LAP once auditioned to play the role of the character Eyeball in the movie Stand by Me?

Joe Jewett
  A.)  Joe Jewett

Calahan
  B.)  Mike Calahan

Ned Hickson
  C.)  Ned Hickson

Ad-libbed
  D.)  Ad-libbed

Question 3:

The classic sci-fi movie Planet of the Apes brings this LAP member to tears because of  a severe dislike of seeing monkeys die.

MM
  A.)  Monk Monkey

katie hoffman
  B.)  Katie Hoffman

SG
  C.)  Single Girlie

Ad-libbed
  D.)  Ad-libbed

Question 4:

Which LAP member carries the second rarest blood type (B-), shared by only 2% of the world population?

Justin Gawel
  A.)  Justin Gawel

Jack De Voss
  B.)  Jack De Voss

Calahan
  C.)  Mike Calahan

SG
  D.)  Single Girlie

Question 5:

Which LAP member accidentally launched a model rocket off in their bedroom while attending grade school?

Calahan
  A.)  Mike Calahan

wrong hands
  B.)  John Atkinson aka Wrong Hands

Chowderhead
  C.)  Chowderhead

Ad-libbed
  D.)  Ad-libbed

Question 6:

Which LAP member is egg-intolerant, shops for T-shirts in the children’s section, and has never once experienced being drunk?

Chris De Voss
  A.)  Chris De Voss

Chowderhead
  B.)  Chowderhead

katie hoffman
  C.)  Katie Hoffman

Calahan
  D.)  Mike Calahan

Question 7:

Which LAP member was once hit by a car at the age of 14, and today, owns over 150 board games?

Ad-libbed
  A.)  Ad-libbed

Calahan
  B.)  Mike Calahan

MM
  C.)  Monk Monkey

Brainrants
  D.)  BrainRants

Question 8:

Which LAP member was nominated as candidate for Prom Queen during High School?

SG
  A.)  Single Girlie

MMM
  B.)  Miss Melisa Mae

Brainrants
  C.)  BrainRants

Ned Hickson
  D.)  Ned Hickson

Question 9:

Which LAP member once reigned supreme in an underwater pumpkin carving contest, and also suffered from a severe phobia of rubber chickens as a child?

Omawarisan
  A.)  Omawarisan

wrong hands
  B.)  John Atkinson aka Wrong Hands

Chris De Voss
  C.)  Chris De Voss

Ad-libbed
  D.)  Ad-libbed

Question 10:

Which LAP member blames their perpetual single-status on the fact that they own neither an iron, nor an oven?

Jack De Voss
  A.)  Jack De Voss

SG
  B.)  Singlegirlie

MMM
  C.)  Miss Melisa Mae

wrong hands
  D.)  John Atkinson aka Wrong Hands

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you to everybody for all your kick-ass support this past year!

- Much love from the entire LAP Staff

Tune in next Thursday for the big reveal!

—–

MORE PLACES TO FIND LONG AWKWARD PAUSE:

Facebook: Long Awkward Pause

Twitter: @LongAwkPause

Podcast: iTunes or PodOmatic

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