Everyday I hear myself saying stuff to my teen boys that I shouldn’t have to say. It’s like all those years of letting them fail to learn a lesson never happened. All the common sense I thought they would “grow into” never materialized. How will they move into adulthood and thrive? I can’t answer that question but my hopes are being snuffed out day by day. I’m exhausted from repeating directions, warnings and life skills. Here is just a small list of those. Can you relate?
- Use oven mitts next time. They keep you from burning yourself.
- It’s called a “check register”. It helps you from over drafting your account and asking me for money to cover it.
- Put your clothes in the hamper (repeated 20 times a day).
- Only I can use frickin swear words.
- Don’t put your fork in the microwave!
- Our data doesn’t rollover. We actually have to pay more when you go over your limit.
- No you can’t pee outside! We have indoor plumbing.
- There is a limit to how much you can shove in the washing machine before it shoots water all over the floor.
- Do you know what happens to an entire pack of gum in your pants pocket when it goes into the dryer? You’re about to find out.
- You have to reapply sunscreen after swimming. It’s not a force field.
- The dog will die if you try to wait him out to feed him.
- How do you think you got Mono?
- If you break your brother’s arm you’re going to take him to the ER and explain it.
- If you go to jail for any reason I will not bail you out.
- Yes clothes do mold if you leave them in your car all semester.
- Always wear clean underwear. Or at least just wear underwear.
- Please at least wear a towel when you come out of the shower. For the love!
- Conditioner is for AFTER shampoo.
- Yes you do have to eventually get a new toothbrush.
- Watch ‘Teen Mom’. I’m not raising your kid too.
- When you turn 18, I will push you outa the damn nest.
And that was just the short list.
