A lot changed for me when I went from being able to see, to not, and while it is one of the less impactful truths about who I am now, I’ve seen way more horror films than I used to. I’ve even gone back and watched films I was avoiding for various reasons, like too much gore, or jump scare bonanza’s. I have had brand new appreciation for a genre that I pretty much limited to teen slashers, and horror comedies. Even before losing my sight, I loved a good horror comedy, with films like Tucker and dale Vs Evil, Shaun Of The dead, Cabin In The Woods, Cooties, and The Final Girls all being memorable standouts. Knowing what I’ve seen, and what this is, I wonder if it isn’t too mean spirited for its own good.
heart Eyes is a sometimes entertaining send up of slasher tropes wrapped in a Valentine’s Day package. We are introduced with an opening sequence to the Heart Eyes killer, which is someone who wears a mask, and brutally kills couples on Valentines Day. but, because rules seemingly don’t apply, the Heart Eyes killer also just murders anyone in proximity at the time.This is one of a few choices I feel like could have been dialed way back, as they really don’t seem to care so much about the specifics of who Heart Eyes kills.
Cut ahead, and we are in Seattle, and the world seems to know about this killer no one can catch, who hops from city to city on valentines. our leads should be fine though, because they aren’t a couple.Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding top line this film from Scream 6 director Christopher Landon, and they are not a couple. That little fact seems to elude Heart Eyes, because they are targeted anyway. They’re just having a business meeting on valentines, and are mistaken for a couple. The problem is, heart Eyes already killed random people, so they are already off their game. Side characters are introduced, but this isn’t a typical slasher where the killer works through a friend group either. Heart Eyes is laser focused on this couple like the Terminator is on Sarah Connor.
the kills are brutal, with the film getting a genre label on IMDb for “splatter horror”. Yeah. I heard some things described that gave me pause. But the film is trying to play it a little light, like a horror comedy. But, it is so epically brutal at times, that the joke reactions to things don’t always mix well. Also, the reveal of the killer is wildly disappointing and opens up far more questions than answers. Let’s just say that it involves having a job that would be a little hard to relocate year after year. Even then, Landon way overshoots the landing on surprise reveals about Heart Eyes. he might as well just revealed that the leads had twins that were stalking them, or that the Heart Eyes killer is actually Old Man Withers in some Scooby-Doo ish reveal. No, i hated the killer reveal, because it feels so intent on surprising, it forget to make sense.
There are chunks of this that work really well. It is sometimes funny. Not every kill is batshit crazy. the leads, Gooding and holt, are quite good, and could easily have a future if they can keep getting hired. Gooding, in my opinion, sounds like a young David Schwimmer. Not to mention, the audio description track absolutely follows through on every insanely brutal kill.
Heart Eyes just hit Netflix. fans of horror should rejoice. If you like your films gory, this isn’t quite The Substance, but a few deaths are brutal, gory, and over the top, and while this has a hard time figuring out the tone, the cast seems ready for any challenge.
Final Grade:
Fresh: Final Grade: B- Audio Description: A-
