Saturday night, after Boots finally came home from work, after he'd spent an hour rocking Mayhem back to sleep while I slept before coming to bed himself, after I got up and spent an hour rocking Mayhem back to sleep, I lay in the bed beside Boots, unable to sleep myself.
I thought about a few people I went to high school and college with that I've recently "found" on Instagram. Some of them are still in college, some of them have yet to leave home, some of them are looking to find love and trying to start their own families. I thought about how lucky I am compared to so many people I used to know. I was able to go to college. I was able to pursue and obtain a degree and never failed or had to repeat a class. I was able to find a good job in my chosen field and worked it for five years. I have not lived with my parents since high school, although I did spend about six months living with some of my other relatives. I fell in love with a wonderful man and married him in a beautiful wedding, and now we have a precious baby together. We have a house that we have slowly been fixing up for three long years. He has a good job and I am able to stay home with our baby.I don't claim to think that my old friends are jealous of me by any means, but my life is so beautiful and wonderful. I feel so acutely aware of it now. I have everything I have ever wanted, but sometimes I am so ungrateful. Sometimes I do not appreciate the life I have been given and it makes me ashamed. I have what others long for, but sometimes I don't care.I know Thanksgiving was last week, but I want to focus more on how very much I have and focus less on what I do not have. I want to appreciate my life and my family before it is too late. I don't want to regret being unthankful for the people and things and love that I've been given.Now that Thanksgiving is officially over I feel like I can plow ahead towards Christmas without any weird feelings of smooshing the holidays together. One at a time, y'all! With that being said, I'm working on putting up both of my Christmas trees in my already overstuffed house. Last year, I was pregnant and unenthusiastic about anything involving extra work on my behalf so I only stuck up the little one. But this year? This year I am dragging it all out! The little one in the living room, the big one in the kitchen, Boots is gonna freak out when he gets home and sees how little walking around space we're going to have for the next month!Can you tell I'm The Super Excited about Christmas this year? Maybe it's because it's Mayhem's first Christmas and I want to do it up right for him. I've been listening to Christmas music all day and wishing I was sipping something hot while I've been fluffing branches and stringing lights, getting terribly scratched up. There's something to be said about real trees and their non-need to be fluffed, but it sounds like Clark Griswold and a squirrel. There's also something to be said about prelit trees. And also lazy people that just don't take the lights off each year.Christmas is the only thing I decorate for. I'm not a seasonal or holiday decorator at all. Even though I'm gung-ho this year, I always think back to when I worked at The Drug Store and the three of us put up five themed, monster-sized trees and I was educated on the fine art of stringing lights. (Up and down every branch, around every single leaf or stem or frond, whatever you call it!) If there was ever a person that prayed for their own death at work every day, it was me. I loved the folks I worked with, but I knew that decorating and dusting shelves was not my jam. I'm much more relaxed with my own trees, up and down the branches with the lights is good enough so long as it looks even when it's lit.I'm thinking about buying some sort of Christmas scented candle to add to the experience of hanging the ornaments. I like listening to Elvis sing Christmas songs while hanging ornaments. It's a tradition that my Dee Dee started when we would decorate her tree and one I plan to continue even though Boots rolls his eyes. Suck it up, it's Christmas! ;) I also need to buy some sort of baby fence to help keep Mayhem away from them. I can tell those shiny lights are going to be a serious temptation for him, especially after he watches us put all those bright "toys" on them. I can't wait to take pictures and share with you!