Here we go again- competing over who has it worse or better. There is a unique spin on this one, however. It’s “office jobs” moms in one corner and “other working moms” in the other (in particular actresses and those who travel a lot).
Gwyneth Paltrow dished to E! News on how much harder it is for an actress and mom who is frequently away from home then it is for a mom who goes into an office job and can come home at night to do her second job. Yikes…
One might think that these different lives are easily compared- after they are all moms who work. However, the comparison can be apples and oranges which in this case is likely to be Mercedes and econo cars, manicured estates and split levels, and/or household help and nannies and 16+ hour days with no time or money left over for getting away.
Let’s face it- comparisons are odious because someone always comes out the winner and someone else the loser. How much better to say that moms in general have a very demanding, yet rewarding and satisfying job- regardless of whether they work full time at home or work outside and get outside help at home. Those who have both jobs and NO outside help are called saints and they are in a category all their own.
In all seriousness, Gwyneth sounds a little like a certain princess who long ago said something that has been taken out of context for years- “Let them eat cake.” Not to digress here, but Marie Antoinette lived during a time when if the palace ran out of bread, they opened up their stores of cake and ate this until they could restock. Her comment was naïve- and it’s possible Gwyneth’s was too, Isn’t it within reason to think that maybe she is so out of touch in her Hollywood life that she really thinks the average Mom has a full complement of help to handle all those mommy and household things that must be done when mommy is away- or at work? If she assumes this, her comment is more acceptable. She seems like a nice person so maybe we could give her the benefit of the doubt.
Either way, do the rest of us working moms in all stages and work environments really have to get all lathered up about this? Each of us knows what is on our plate and none of us ever really knows what is on the plate of another mommy. Lives that look porcelin smooth can be something else entirely. I say this as a therapist and mom who has had more than my share of challenges and long hours that seem to never end.
So why don’t we agree to agree that our lives and circumstances are different and comparisons are not only useless- they keep the mommy wars going and going.
