Humor Magazine

Gumption! Or If I May Make a Suggestion…

By Pearl
I’ve stopped doing too many of the things that had previously defined me.
Where once I attended yoga, I’ve taken up staring.  Where once I wrote daily, I now take notes.  And where I used to think about taking up kayaking, I now only think about thinking about taking up kayaking.
Everything has changed.
It’s exhausting, being newly single.  Peoples, I’m tired.  Between not knowing how to turn on my furnace, needing a chair to reach the cord that turns off the overhead fan, and wondering if I will ever bake a whole cherry pie again, I find myself in a constant state of flux.
Where am I?  Who am I?  Where’d that one thing go, the thing that used to be in the drawer with the other things?
I don’t know.  And there’s nothing to do but find out.
“What you need,” my mother says, “is some gumption.”
This took me aback, frankly. One, that she said something so direct –  not recommended in that Hmm-I-don’t-know-about-that Minnesota Book of Suggestions – and two, that she used the word “gumption”.
Gumption:  Like something stuck to the bottom of your shoe.   Or a gas-producing vegetable…
She’s right.  Dagnabit, the ol’ lady is right again.  I’ve sat still for too long. 
It’s time I start doing things again.
It's time I started thinking about thinking about acquiring some gumption.

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