Golden Globes: Live Blogging
I’m clearly live blogging the Golden Globes right now. Because Caleb cancelled Time Warner, I’m forced to do it watching basic cable, so I might be light years behind spotting dresses. But at least I have fucking french onion dip to get me by.
6:08pm: I’m a little caught up opening a bottle of lambrusco, but Nicole Richie looks hot. A little too much Dallas blue eyeshadow on the eyes. Also did she get a boob job? She looks like me when I wear a triple padded wonder bra and then wear a long sleeve shirt.
6:10pm: Woof! Blossom.
6:13pm: Lady Mary is wearing a sort of 1920s layered gold high-necked shoulder pad thing and I’m into it.
6:16pm: Either Megan Fox is not a human, or she’s been fooling us into thinking that she’s had boobs this whole time. But seriously, she had a baby 4 months ago, and she looks roughly as thick as my left thigh. How is that possible?
Her dress is like eh, boring—tight, pale pink, whatever, lacy hot.
6:20pm: Mackenzie from the Newsroom is on looking very very enthusiastic!!!! She is now the third person in a high necked gown—this one is silver, and a little matronly. Her hair looks pretty though.
6:21pm: Mackenzie is wearing Jenny Packham, so it makes sense why she looks like a mother of the bride. Zing! It’s just because Jenny Packham designs a lot of wedding gowns, fyi
6:24: Kerry Washington with the fourth high necked dress—it’s Miu Miu. Her bangs are a little—captain on a space ship? Her belt is scrunched in the back, I don’t like. But the front is gorgeous—beaded and sparkly. We’re gonna see a lot of beading on the carpet—it’s a big trend for Spring 2013.
6:25: Wouldn’t it be so much better if, when people asked Steve Buscemi what he was wearing, he said, “are you fucking kidding me?” and rolled his eyes.
