I decided to double feature this spunky way finder and her various trips into the big blue world. these movies are not created equal. sequels are hard, especially when you are making one for Disney that is more content with pushing out brand awareness than a movie that feels like the organic sequel to Moana. the first film came out a year before my vision loss,and so when I jumped back in, it was a world i was familiar with. I knew what Moana looked like. I knew the songs. i remembered her journey. I knew that fucking crab was going to sing that damn song. I think that song is the worst thing Lin Manuel Miranda has ever written, by the way. Shiny? Please. No. Moana has a charm, and Miranda’s music really fuels this heartwarming “not a princess” story. I’m now on my 4th or 5th time through Moana, and I love everything but the Shiny sequence.
The sequel? Miranda was thrown to Mufasa, and two girls I’ve never heard of became the youngest songwriters ever for Disney. The songs don’t sound the same, and they struggle to be memorable. However, I didn’t hate any of them. they are all just forgettable. Beyond is the best, and considering the Oscar lineup this year, there’s no reason it couldn’t be on there.
while Moana 2 makes a smart choice to return our original characters and voice actors, it also has no idea why it exists. It is about a half hour shorter, which pulls all the story from the film. Moana is saddled with a few villagers on her trip this time, for reasons I still can’t understand. The better story would have been Moana needing to go to rescue Maui, and her little sister stowing away. That tiny girl made more of an impact in a few scenes than anyone who actually goes with Moana. And, revealing maybe that Moana’s little sister has the same relationship with the ocean would have been a cool reveal. Instead, you get this.
I honestly don’t even know what “this” is. It is so decidedly bland, and means absolutely nothing, that it could double as a pilot for a Moana TV show. It also works itself up to an unearned ending, where they try and pull emotion out they spent no time building up. I did laugh a few times, and the villain’s song here is better than Shiny, even if the villain is poorly written. It’s no Poor unfortunate Souls, but still.
this film added new faces who if they were at a Disney park, not a single kid would line up for. if they were in a toy line, the toys would stay on the shelf. they might have worked, if the film had bothered to do any character development, but it didn’t. It just hoped you’d show up for Moana 2. And considering it has made over 450 million just at the domestic box office, expect more shitty sequels with nothing to say.
That being said, the pros are here. There was a scene I loved where Moana takes her little sister into the ocean like she’s Moses. Some clever jokes, about people thinking she’s a princess (since she’s included as a Disney Princess), and a few other cheeky comments. the suicidal chicken is always entertaining. Some of the stuff wasn’t broken, and they didn’t tweak it. Moana still has a moment with her ancestors, and that worked just fine. beyond is not a bad song. I don’t think any of the songs are bad, they just feel like sequel songs that pale in comparison to the original.
The audio description for both takes the same approach. Both are well written, and benefit on visual adventures on the water to describe, Maui’s tattoo’s, a non-verbal chicken that is always trying to do something silly, and water with a personality. I don’t love the narrator choice for either, and would have chosen a more engaging voice for children, prioritizing that age range. Both narrators sound like they’d be great on Conclave or The Brutalist.
I’m maybe a year or two, or a viewing or two away from being able to officially crown Moana as a desert island movie. i don’t like to say something is there until I’ve felt that way for ten years. It is rare if I do it early, and Shiny gives me pause. Moana 2 will never be a desert island movie, but it is far from the worst Disney sequel. It has little things that work, and enough of a familiarity. Plus, because it is so short, it can’t possibly overstay its welcome. So, i guess, you’re welcome?
Moana: Fresh, Final Grade: A-, Audio Description: B+
Moana 2: Fresh- Final Grade: B-, Audio description: B+
