STOP… before you scroll past this post. I know, the word codependent conjures up all types of dysfunctions I’m sure you don’t have, but what if the the goal setting principles in the post can actually help you set goals AND reach them?
Are you willing to take a chance and read on? To swallow your pride and see if codependent goal setting might help you in achieving your goals? Good, thought so. Here’s just a tiny snippet of what I’m learning from **Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself.
For the topic of this blog, I’m going to limit goal setting to writing, but these principles could and should be applied to other areas of your life.
- Get Rid of the Shoulds: The first step to goal setting is turning those shoulds into goals. I should write every day. I should plot out my story. I should set a daily word count… Just STOP IT and DO IT! If finishing your book is important to you then cut out the shoulds and make them a goal.
- Don’t Limit Your Dreams: If you want it, go for it! All of it, everything, even if it seems beyond your reach. Want to be a best seller? Land your #1 agent or publishing house? Then make it a goal. Don’t worry about the “what ifs,” the “should Is,” or the “can Is.” It’s not going to happen if it’s not suppose to, but it can’t happen if you don’t make it a goal and try! Tweet This.
- Write it Down: Writing things down helps us focus and worry less. It helps us stay organized and channel our energy so when we get off track as interrupted writers (or codependents) we can figure out where we’re suppose to be. I used to think writing things down restricted me, held me in bondage, but it’s actually freeing. Don’t believe me? Give it a try!
- Commit Your Goals to God: Keeping it all in perspective, it’s all about God’s will, right? If He doesn’t want you to have something or if He has something better for you, then your goals won’t be reached. Hopefully, if you’re seeking God’s direction, He’ll lead you down another path.
- Let it Go: Don’t obsess about your goals, (not that codependents or interrupted writers obsess,) but keep them close where you can see them. Don’t feel you have to look at them daily, except when you’re setting daily goals. Adapt the motto (if you haven’t already) “Make a plan, then do what I can!” (Yes, I just made that up on the spot!) I used this during my homeschool days. I had a plan, but inevitably something would come up to change that plan. I tried not to freak about it, but instead chose to look at it as God redirecting my path. It works for writing as well. If you’re word count is interrupted by the needs of a child or paying job, then make peace with it. Do what needs to be done and know that things will get done eventually, so why let worry rob us of the energy we need to get things done?
- Check off Goals: “But what if I don’t reach any goals?” You won’t thinking like THAT because “Stinking Thinking” robs you of the energy and desire to try. So quit it! You will reach your goals. Not all of them, maybe not many of them, I don’t know. But one thing is certain, you won’t reach your goals if you don’t have any! If you’re still afraid to try, start small and start checking things off. Even checking off a goal of writing 100 words a day will feel like a BIG accomplishment. Don’t believe me? Set that goal this week and try it! Then look back on the week. BAM! 700 words written. A lot more than last week, right?
- Set New Goals Regularly: Not only is checking off goals a good idea to track our progress, but it can give us motivation for the next time we set a goal. You can have a daily,weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly goal. I even have life goals. Some people call them their Bucket List. Goal setting like this has endless possibilities!
- Be Patient: When all this goal setting is written down and your plan has been set in motion, the only thing left to do is wait. It may take months or decades to reach a goal, BUT if it is important to you don’t take it off your list. Don’t quit! I use the “what ifs” to my advantage here. “What if my dream or goal was about to be met and I quit too soon?” THAT keeps me going!
Still need more motivation? Watch this!
What about you? Is there something that works for you that I’ve forgotten? Please, don’t be shy!
**AND If by some strange chance these goal setting principles have spoken to you on a deeper level, I suggest picking up a copy of Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself. NOT that you’re codependent, but you never know!
