Humor Magazine

Geisha Silver Porn: The Reissue

By Christopher De Voss @chrisdevoss

 
The internet. Home to weirdos in search of naked silver geishas.

What does that even mean?

I’m not sure. I’m just a polite-ish girl with a cool moniker — Gunmetal Geisha — playing messenger and bringing you the bizarre search terms that lead to my blog, gunmetalgeisha.com.

Aside from the garden variety pervy searches, and an international array of active masturbators seeking to stumble on unclothed geishas doing vile things, the terms can be as baffling as an avant-garde poem.

So I’ve put together just that — avant-garde verse using exclusively the search terms reported on my stats.

There, I first discovered the words of the curious and the perverted meld into strange poetry.

Each line is a separate web search. I simply selected and reshuffled them. I’ve also fixed typos and misspellings, and added a couple of commas.

Other than that, each line is faithful to its original content and “poetic” incoherence.

And let’s be real, there’s no poetic conceit quite like the well-intended inquiry coupled with sub-humanity’s porn preferences.

Without further ado, the poetry of perverts & company:
 

geisha

 

Geisha Silver Porn

saucy heroine
who said dreaming is for suckers
bejeweled we meet, on me you see what I mean
oops boobs on a street

can we say gunmetal’s a mixture
philosophical drunks
premium geisha porn
indulgent predilections

gunmetal, magical properties
fairies and time travel
zen letter closings
call me ma’am when you f*** me

gentleman callers
how to melt gunmetal
she wants an alpha male
inspired lust wank nature trail story

does Antarctica have hot girls
thin girls dancing in bikini
geisha dance steps
girl, hot sex, Antarctic

miss you nipple
boob headlock
life preserver
I’ve always wanted to see a real geisha and it happened today

can guacamole make you blind if got in the eye
I want to be an itinerant
gunmetal stick
why do enlightenment thinkers wear tights

5 am love note
darling u r dynamite…sentence in different designs
Hollywood heroine peeing on the road
how long does the geisha sex pill last

I love you too much, that’s why I spied on you
I love u geisha
can I use bread to eat geisha
my friends say I’m malnourished

lovable matter, sentence of granny
avoid self exhibitionism
claustrophobic subway
barfly lips

skinny teen felt up
martian porn
two girls and one Eurail pass
girls dance around the fire and then f***ing

geisha silver porn
how many hours has it been since April 11, 2014 5:34
never give up someone like this message
beautiful, thank you for taking us along on your trip.

 

Geisha Pills

 

~ More Gunmetal Geisha on LAP ~


What are the crazy searches you’ve seen or done?

Tell Gunmetal Geisha below and don’t forget to follow her on Twitter and like her on Facebook. You can also find her at gunmetalgeisha.com where she suffers from chronic dichotomy.

GG final author box


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