Dating Magazine

Friends with Benefits

By Datecoachtoni @CoachToni

For years, many people have been engaging in casual sex with people they know. There are the folks who are divorced yet get together sexually from time to time. There are the exes who were never married and find that even though they don’t want to marry this person, the sex is nice and convenient. Then there are the folks who are truly friends who seek comfort, consolation or something else from their friend and it is reciprocated- at least the sex is. In a growing number of those situations, one of the partners feels more and wants more, but fears even bringing it up for fear of scaring away their friend. Kind of makes you wish for the old days when boundaries were much clearer and people either were, or were not- involved romantically.

Now we even have a movie about it. Funny, engaging, lots of chemistry- not too much like the reality that so many FWB find themselves living in. Sometimes art doesn’t do too well in imitating life. FWB comes in all ages, sizes, and kinds of relationships. They are the nice, quiet woman down the hall or a co-worker who is known as a workaholic with no real social life. They often find themselves falling into these relationships during stressful, lonely times or perhaps after a bad break-up or loss of someone they love.

The bottom line is that it’s not that easy to be intimately involved, yet not intimately involved. Being a little committed in moments, then shifting back to friends- often watching your friend get involved with or express an attraction to someone else. Yes, in the movies, it often turns out so well- like with Harry and Sally and Dylan and Jamie. If only this could happen more often in real life.

Remember that if you find yourself falling into an FWB relationship, you need to prepare yourself for heartache, disappointment and potential loss. It could turn to lasting love, but often it doesn’t. Also remember that while you are spending your time, energy and heart on someone else, Mr. or Ms Right could be walking by.

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