Diaries Magazine

First of All…

By Blairbarnes

For some reason I have served a plethora of snotty, rude, and condescending bitches this week. Today was excruciatingly slow at my work so the only way I was going to make any money was VIP-ing every table. (VIP-ing is treating every guest like they are the most important person I have ever served even if they are just some piece of shit financial district douchebag, it makes people feel important and that’s all the people who are our clientele really want anyways) I know when I am being a bad server and today I was an AWESOME server, I could have placed in the server olympics. I had these two women, one middle aged pleasant enough and one 30-ish who looked like a hot mess. I approached the women and let them know the specials and soup. I then asked if they had any further questions about the menu. They had about 4 questions each (no joke) and our menu has only 20 items on it. Our food is organic, basic, and rustic, very delicious but not all that complicated. After all the questions the one woman ordered our chicken salad but she wanted it with “umm like salmon or shrimp or something instead” I let her know we had no salmon as we only get what is local and fresh. I offered her shrimp and let her know that there would be a c cost for the substitution. She ignored my comment and had to confirm again “so you want the chicken salad but with shrimp instead” she said yes and I placed the order.

As in any restaurant after about 2 bites I approached the table and asked if everything was to their liking and they had what they needed, everything was fine per their response. I approached once more during their lunch to refill and asked again if they were still ok. I then cleared their plates later and returned with dessert menus and offered dessert, they looked but said no…still no mention of an unsatisfactory lunch. They requested the check and I dropped it. A few seconds later the younger girl (with the shrimp) comes up all huffy to me and proceeds to say…”First of all, you didn’t tell me the shrimp would be 5 dollars extra, and SECOND of all they weren’t even good….I told her I would take care of the charge and let her know I wished she would have let me know she was not enjoying her lunch so I could have rectified the situation. She just rolled her eyes and said “good fix it”. I had my manager take are of the rest of the transactions because I was about to punch the girl in her face because of her rudeness. As my manager ran their card and thanked them she was a rude jerk and as they walked out and a co-worker said have a nice day she  rolled her eyes.

First of all, don’t go into a restaurant and fully change a whole dish, just find something else to eat, if the chef thought the salad would taste good with shrimp he would have made it that way, second of all, listen to me when I let you know something is going to have an up-charge, third of all, don’t come at me like a bitch when you did nothing to better your situation, use your words and I can help you, fourth of all, yes, every single server and the bartender were talking shit about how stupid you were, fifth of all, fix yourself up when you go in public, and finally everyone from the city knows you can’t get a cab on Embarcadero because they can’t stop there so I’m glad you don’t live here and won’t be coming back and yes we all watched you look like a moron trying to hail a cab and then laughed more when you settled for a pedi-cab.

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