Richard Rossi is a guest blogger, writer and illustrator from North Carolina by way of Syracuse, NY. You can find his Childrens books on Amazon.com or at a book store near you.
A friend of ours told us a story about the first house she and her ex-husband shared. They had purchased an old row home desperately in need of some work and, both being designers, they had decided to decorate the place themselves. He would take one half of the rooms in the house and she would take the other half. Divide and conquer. Once completed, they compared their work.
While her rooms were decorated nicely, his were impeccably done, like something out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Sadly, they had set a very dangerous precedent. One of working separately and comparing results.
My wife Lynn and I purchased our first home and, while not designers, we’d talked ourselves into trying the same sort of thing. On a strict budget, we’d have to be both creative and opportunistic to make this work. Once completed, it was obvious that Lynn had a flair for this. Her rooms were very tastefully decorated. Mine? The politically correct term would be aesthetically challenged.
It is my contention that beer can coffee tables and Feng Shui are not mutually exclusive terms. Old movies are even better while watched by the light of a vintage Elvis table lamp. And there is nothing that says “home” quite like a fuzzy, lime green toilet seat cover. I was officially put on notice. I had to find another home for The moose antlers and the battery operated, talking fish I’d discovered on the QVC network. Lynn made it clear that vintage garage sale was not her idea of a viable motif. Hey, I just can’t resist a good deal.
A Better Way
After further discussion, we had agreed to redo these rooms in a way that was more consistent throughout. In other words, anything that wasn’t consistent with the look she wanted would be thrown out. I had only one stipulation. When all was said and done, I would have a room to escape to. It’s important for a guy to have a place where he can sit back, watch a ball game, and drift into a peaceful nap. She agreed. She also had one stipulation. Decorating our home would have to be done together.
We learned a few things along the way and the process was fairly painless. I can’t say that the Bassett Furniture outlet is where I would choose to spend a Saturday afternoon, but Lynn and I had some quality time together and picked up some beautiful living room furniture at the same time. We rummaged through thrift stores and had lunch together at the Wallmart. Not my idea of fine dining, but that wasn’t the point. We talked. A lot.
I learned that Lynn likes tulips from the garden more than roses from a florist. Who knew?
In retrospect, it occurs to me now that there is a reason why our friend and her husband are no longer together. Too much “divide and conquer”. Given recent events, how would I describe the my experience shopping with my wife? I believe the politically correct term would be awesome.
Gal’s Note – I’ve learned the same exact lesson with Julie. While the efficiency expert in me cries out to divide and conquer, the husband in me says that the point of marriage isn’t to be efficient, it’s to be together. Don’t look at these tasks as a chore to be done with as quickly as possible, think of them as opportunities to be together and build some memories.
