Life Coach Magazine

Feeling Fear - Part 1

By The Contender @The__Contender
Feeling Fear - Part 1THE.FuTuRe: "Hey FeaR! Get over here we need to talk. Contender is getting ahead of himself he needs to feel THE.FeaR! Spar with him for a few rounds – probe his weaknesses. Get under his skin and into his psyche"
THE.FeaR: "Anything for an old buddy of mine. Doubt – I'm your guy, Hesitation – got it covered, Hope – destroyed, Confidence – history bring it on!"
In this post we are going to have a look at how FeaR has impacted THE.CoNTeNDeR in THE.PAST, what has been done about him and what he has learnt.  
As for THE.FuTuRe? What are the top 3 FeaR's the TRiBe has for financial independence and  downshifting and hopefully leading a contented life and what are we doing about them now - all to come in part two.
      THE.CoNTeNDeR's Introduction to FeaR
      I penned a post in April called 10 Happiness Guidelines in the post I covered the premise of learn from THE.PaST enjoying THE.NOW but planning for THE.FuTuRe. All three have been followed by THE.FeaR starting at a young age.
      Being Welsh I come from a Protestant work ethic background. You must sow the seeds of success today (advertised as hard work until 65...) and then you can reap the rewards (retirement / scrap heap) in the future. Make sure you save enough though and to get a state pension you must work for at least 25 years.
      In the west we have given ample bread (government funded backstops) and circuses (TV and media) to keep us happy, entertained, docile, conformist and obedient. 
      All is sweet as long as we go with the system right? Don't think about any real world problems out there work hard for your pension and watch TV!
      Was this FeaR talking? Work hard or else. Shut up learn to get with the system. We have everything in hand. So CoNTeDeR got on with the system and buckled down for the long haul...OR ELSE!
      Feeling THE.FeaR - not so nice
      THE.CoNTeNDeR is a little older and a tiny bit wiser and now realises that one cannot live in FeaR of THE.FuTuRe. He will always be there.
      In the past THE.CoNTeNDeR hunkered down and let FeaR into his life. Mainly driven by too much News and Newspapers! This had some very bad consequences physical stress and mentally holding CoNTeNDeR back :
      Stress - FeaR's were allowed to sit there festering. In particular - 'I must buy a house or I will be left behind, I must work really hard or I will never get a promotion, I must look good and buy designer labels or I will never find a wife'.
      This a nagging voice in the background contributed to unhappiness that was being remedied by a high consumption lifestyle of partying and holidays. Admittedly this is not all bad...why was I dong it though. Everyone around me was as well. It must be normal. Keep with the system. Keep with the system.
      The partying kept me docile in a semi happy / drunken state preventing me from really getting on with life - fighting the FeaR's the main problem was work.

      Feeling Fear - Part 1

      Click here for source

      Overwork, under appreciation, no rapid career progress caused insomnia, weight gain. THE.CoNTeNDeR was one of these people:
      “There are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.”— Nigel Marsh

      The cure to this? Tackling the problem straight on. Accepting that the situation was my own doing. Knowing that I could do something about it. Building up the guts to do something about it. Working out a plan to get out of the wage slavery, be financially free, be different.
      Please Read on for more impacts of feeling THE.FeaR in THE.PaST
      Being different - Standing out from the crowd did THE.CoNTeNDeR no good whatsoever (in work). Driving a ten-year old car, wearing oldish work clothes - a worker bee. Managers drove flashy cars, schmoozed and networked. Sure THE.CoNTeNDeR could have gone down this slippery road to be become enslaved to the job. There was no way to fit in to the expensive social circle when the end goal was financial independence through saving and frugality. Getting to the top would take to long and be too costly.

      Co-Worker1: "We are off to the Maldives for a break - Where are you going on holiday THE.CoNTeNDeR?" 
      CoNTenDER: "Up the road to my Mum's for a week"
      Other example:
      CoNTenDER: "We have been saving around 75% of our income"
      Co-Worker2: "That's impossible we can't save anything each month"  
      We did not alienate our selves completely from the well paid professionals social circle. We just found it easier just looking good on cheaper non branded labels, keeping the old car in very good condition furnishing the rental property with a little bit of taste (we think ;).
      What's the point in trying - Our old friend Procrastination.....if you don't try you don't know right? What could go wrong? Well lots actually...THE.CoNTeNDeR was there - "can't change my is too specialised...I have dedicated three whole years to it!"
      It took two further years (yes that long) to realize there was nothing to be really afraid of. What was the worst that may happen in ditching the job. Getting a new job and get kicked out at the end of the probation period. Perhaps then being out of work for a while, having to go home to the parents with my tail between my legs. Was it it really a very bad situation / thing to do. SLAP to the face, wakey wakey, JFDI (Just F****** Do It!).
      After moving to a much bigger company and yes finding it difficult and stressful at first it THE.CoNTeNDeR was not kicked out, made a fool of himself and did not die - just got through it. What a surprise.....Was that naivety or just the conditioning received from THE.PaST.
      FeaR still had the upper hand, pinning THE.CoNTeNDeR back to the ropes. Still throwing the punches with a continual attack on personal confidence by media propaganda "financial crisis - keep your job" and bosses "you have a great job bide your time, get with the system and you may get my job in THE.FuTuRE". A counter attack was underway, you can break free.
      THE.CoNTeNDeR realized he was a slave to many external pressures and events which really did not matter. Now simply putting situations into perspective and being critical of the all the information was liberating - Freedom here we come. - Duh! 
      Boll**** to THE.PaST damn THE.FeaR. Actually CoNTeNDeR you were your own worst enemy or was it the red kryptonite he had been living with in the cupboard all those years!

      Feeling Fear - Part 1

      Click here for Source

      Liberated, but not free and learning
      Societal pressures and manipulation around work were one hurdle that had been overcome. What THE.CoNTeNDeR was not ready for was really taking control of his life back. Reading through the Internets free thinking minds introduced new fears such as Peak Oil, Climate Change, Central Banks control of 'money' you name it.
      Take the survivalist websites, CRASH alert - whilst some sites make a good argument for keeping a few supplies on hand such as food, water and fuel - getting guns, military training, holding precious metals takes it to a whole new level. If a truly catastrophic event happens such as an asteroid hitting the planet 'prepping' probably would not count for s*** anyway. Perhaps something in the middle might work. Or Mr.FeaR says just live for today instead!
      Between procrastination and outright FeaR of the end of the world THE.CoNTeNDeR over reacted to this bombardment of new information. Fortunately after a few months of 'Oh Sh**' moments it was back to - 'What is the point in stressing about these perceived problems? You live once and die once right'.
      FeaRs are still there but we won't get to worked up about them.... except for one. It is niggling, annoying, a real concern to us The world financial system is a joke. Our little TriBe can't really do anything about it. We will continue to use it (stock market investing, changing countries etc.) despite the risks......We will monitor what happens and adjust our plans as best we can. What will be will be. Our choices and our consequences. 
      Financial Independence - Key Learning's from THE.PasT
      • It is only a job and you have one to save as much money as possible to do what you really want to do in life as quickly as possible. Admittedly some people are very happy with their jobs and careers - perhaps a public service or personal sacrifice for the greater good. 
      • Don't believe the hype - turn the TV news off, shun the newspapers and get to the real information. What do you really need to do to help make your life as contented as possible.
      • Financial and environment ignorance is not bliss but potentially dangerous. 
      Feeling Fear - Part 1FEAR don't make me Laugh! You are More like a Fluffy Bunny Rabbit!
      In Part 2 we are going to have a look at THE.CoNTeNDeR'S top 3 FEAR's about Financial Independence and search for a contented life and what the TRiBe is doing about them
      Peace, prosperity and happiness
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