The strong family awareness of the Chinese people is well known in the world. As an ancient country with long-lasting traditions and cultures, China has numerous sayings regarding the “family” – all is prosperous as long as there’s harmony in the family; among all the virtues, filial piety comes first; and no crime is greater than not having any offspring and passing on the family name. Family being so important for the Chinese people is now becoming something very appealing for people from the west. This is partly why more and more western men are looking for a Chinese wife. However, if you are looking for your Chinese lady, there’s something about family you need to know.
In the west, a guy may bring home a girl even though they have only seen each other twice. However, if your Chinese girl invites you to her home to see her parents, then congratulations, it means she’s taking you seriously and she may even start thinking of moving on to the next level, such as, marriage. Being old-schooled, most of the Chinese parents are very cautious about their kids’ relationships. For example, the kids are normally not allowed to have any relationship before 18, because the parents think those puppy loves are a waste of time and they want their kids to focus on their study more so that they can be more successful. In Chinese we even have a disparaging term for this kind of puppy love – “zao lian” (early love).
So now that you know all about your Chinese lady´s strict and parent-controlled love life before she was 18, it is also important to understand that the situation probably did not get a lot better after she turned 18. The fact is that Chinese parents love their daughters too much and they can’t afford to let them choose the most important man in her life all by herself. This brings us to the whole “meeting your Chinese in-laws” situation. When this day finally comes, you should be cautious. Be on your best behavior and understand that this is not at all as simple as it seems to be. In fact, meeting your Chinese girlfriend´s parents will be the final exam for your relationship. If you do your work right and her parents give you a pass, then everything is should fine. If they don’t like you and fail you, they may start putting pressure on their daughter and try to show her the kind of person that they think is right for her. Unfortunately this is where many relationships go wrong. So, are you ready to meet your Chinese in-laws?
