Community Magazine

Family and Money, Obligation and Guilt

By Eemusings @eemusings

This post is part of Women’s Money Week 2013.

T’s side of the family is not in the strongest of financial positions, to put it one way. A lot of it is of their own doing, with generational and cultural factors also playing major roles, and I have little sympathy for them (except maybe for the kids involved).

There was one family member, though, whom I’d always been led to understand had some money put away for a rainy day. Yet the last few years have been extremely tough times for her, and I didn’t really understand why. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t give a whole lot of thought to the matter. I just kind of sighed, threw my hands up and thought for the millionth time that sometimes life would be easier if you could choose your families.

I had NO idea what was going on. Now I know. While I’m glad there is a solid reason, I’m incredibly sad now that I’m privy to what it is.

It’s a prime example of when being the responsible one, the good person in the family, doesn’t pay. When savings are drained to cover a loved one’s private medical bills, a subsequent funeral, and other such costs. Of wanting that loved one to have only the best, to ease their last days on earth, to be farewelled with dignity.

Life is hard enough when penniless. But what about after that? How do people handle the costs of death when everyone is broke? I suppose we’d better prepare for footing some or all of the costs when his immediate family members pass on. Morbid. Depressing. Necessary.

Following on from that, said family member is now raising two young kids (extended family). She is hands down the best choice to be doing this right now. No argument there. The problem is she’s doing it on literally no money, thanks to certain ridiculous choices by the parents.

Again, being the responsible one is definitely not paying off. But is doing the right thing ever the easy path? I wish I could say I believed we all get in life only what we can handle, and only what we deserve, but I know better.

Family and money. It’s messy.

When we get back from our trip and get settled in, I think, rather than donating to charity, we’ll be focusing on helping them out instead.


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